Rumination
My end is near
So near that I can smell
my rotting flesh.
The air is still
and full of dread.
No cries of pain escape my lips,
just silence rules
proclaiming the coming disaster
and all that I want
is a peaceful end.
My end is near
So near that I can smell
my rotting flesh.
The air is still
and full of dread.
No cries of pain escape my lips,
just silence rules
proclaiming the coming disaster
and all that I want
is a peaceful end.
We hope that giving up the body will be a moment of peace. Who knows 'til the time comes. The idea of silence is effective here and pivotal to the experience. May I suggest that to drop the second "near" might give more impact?
With respect.
Ray
Thanks
<Deleted User> (18980)
Sat 21st Apr 2018 07:53
Short but compelling. Well done Binte.
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses only functional cookies that are essential to the operation of the site. We do not use cookies related to advertising or tracking. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Binte Afroz
Fri 27th Apr 2018 11:12
Thanks for your suggestion, Ray. I'll surely work on it.
Binte