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Rumination

My end is near
So near that I can smell
my rotting flesh.
The air is still
and full of dread.
No cries of pain escape my lips,
just silence rules
proclaiming the coming disaster
and all that I want
is a peaceful end.

🌷(4)

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Comments

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Binte Afroz

Fri 27th Apr 2018 11:12

Thanks for your suggestion, Ray. I'll surely work on it.

Binte

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raypool

Thu 26th Apr 2018 21:50

We hope that giving up the body will be a moment of peace. Who knows 'til the time comes. The idea of silence is effective here and pivotal to the experience. May I suggest that to drop the second "near" might give more impact?
With respect.

Ray

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Binte Afroz

Sat 21st Apr 2018 09:43

Thanks

<Deleted User> (18980)

Sat 21st Apr 2018 07:53

Short but compelling. Well done Binte.

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