Rumination
My end is near
So near that I can smell
my rotting flesh.
The air is still
and full of dread.
No cries of pain escape my lips,
just silence rules
proclaiming the coming disaster
and all that I want
is a peaceful end.
Comments
We hope that giving up the body will be a moment of peace. Who knows 'til the time comes. The idea of silence is effective here and pivotal to the experience. May I suggest that to drop the second "near" might give more impact?
With respect.
Ray
Thanks
<Deleted User> (18980)
Sat 21st Apr 2018 07:53
Short but compelling. Well done Binte.
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Binte Afroz
Fri 27th Apr 2018 11:12
Thanks for your suggestion, Ray. I'll surely work on it.
Binte