I heard the voices in the street

I looked out of my window neat

Dragging the curtains open wide

Couldn’t believe the sight outside

A great big horse, enormous, stood

And made completely out of wood.

 

A rough old beast, clapboard and nails

With mops for mane, a sheet for tail

Of wooden crates and pallets built.

I rushed to hide under my quilt!

The neighbours were all blaming me

For that horse made of bits of tree.

 

I had to venture outside soon

Just couldn’t stay inside my room

The music must be faced I know

I had to meet those down below

And see that horse that seemed to be

a present just for little me.

 

The planks were rough, construction poor

And there was sawdust on the floor

The eyes were made of saucepan lids.

I hated it, I really did!

The label said “A gift for Ann”

Maybe a present from some man?

 

The head was like a cubist nightmare

It really was a total fright mare!

The legs were trunks of knarled old trees

With knots and lumpy knobbly knees

The hooves had wheels to glide upon

A rough old saddle to sit on

And, I’d not noticed it before

The horses belly had a door.

 

I got a ladder and climbed high

It seemed I’d almost reached the sky

Opened the door - what can I say!

Sitting inside was that James May.

He said “Young lady have no fear

It’s just a stunt for that Top Gear.”

 

Well, James and I we fell in love

He was my gift from up above.

Blissfully happy now, of course

I owe it all to that darned horse!