It pains me to remember

It pains me to forget

It pains me just to see you

But it pains me to regret

 

You're happy because I'm happy

And I'm supposed to do the same

But it physically hurts to see you smile

That I stopped being the reason for

 

While I forgot you existed

And then you show up in my face

I drink Captain Morgan's to ease

My feelings and forget how you hurt me

 

I wanted you to hold me once more

I never wanted to let go of your grasp

But I'm not physically capable

Of standing in one place

 

You have this smile from the last time

You smiled with me, but I insult

Those feelings to keep myself

From getting too close to you again

 

So it pains me to remember

And it pains me to forget

The good times we've had

But those good time weren't always that

 

The stairs to the bathroom felt uneven

You made sure I was okay and I waited for you

Hiding my rained down eyes because you cannot see me

Vulnerable

At this state --- because I'm drunk

 

I remember your warmth

My head hurts --- I'm saying that I'm fine

Even though I was falling over

My balance uneven

So

 

Thanks for taking care of me

For the first time since we've left

And for the last time because

My mind can't seem to let go

 

Created on May 6, 2018