I wanna be a rebel, no more goodie two shoes

I’m done with being PC

I wanna be a rebel you see

Get myself a girlfriend or three

Or would I prefer a strong cup of tea?

With a double brandy, a lager shandy?

Not radical enough? I’m just not tough

But now I’m growing old I wanna be bold

Eat loads of meat pies, kick sand in eyes,

and because I may havedementia,

say there was no intention.

I just wanna be a rebel

 

To be a rebel is what I really want

I’ve been good since I was dunked in a font

In a church that was old, cold and damp,

so I’ll get my own back and speed up a ramp,

in my electric buggy, pretend I’m a vamp

Kiss the ladies, be like a dog thats rabid

Go wild in the isles when I’m in Asda,

push me trolly round like a souped up Mazda

Buy posh food and pretend I’m a dude

with lots of dough

Oh I really wanna be a rebel you know

 

The problem is I’m not really the biz

I open doors for ladies, make a fuss of babies

Give me money to charity and in reality

I’m a soft touch who’s been kind too much

Paid for people’s operations, never been on probation, or appeared in court or false passport bought.

But I’ll toughen up and start to get rough

Have one too many and be thrown out the pub

Kick a window in or not recycle in me bins

That will make ‘em sit up and see,

that little old me has changed for the worse,

become a drain on their purse,

a curse on society, I’m now a rebel!! He, he!