Real Life Nightmare
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Life- so complicated,
forever indecisive.
The world too big, too scary,
my mind so full of queries.
Never certain, never happy,
each decision could be deadly.
An escapes impossible,
every outcomes implausible.
Sinking under water,
Always being taken for a martyr.
The pain runs so deep,
Barely able to sleep,
Tossing and turning,
Hoping and yearning.
Sanity strays away,
Leaving me to fall further every day.
Nothing to hold on to,
Another’s touch too late, too few.
Watching the world around you decay
Feeling thankful you’ve lasted yet another day.
This prison holds me tight,
Forever losing this never ending fight,
Though day in, day out I try with all my might.
A danger to myself, to others,
Every thought a constant stutter.
My soul is stuck, buried too deep,
The hills surrounding me- too steep,
Always destined for defeat.
A never ending nightmare,
Forever feeling scared.
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Anxiety- my demon, my master,
Attempts against it result in disaster.
What is anxiety? But the worlds
clingiest, most hateful bastard.
HayzTee (Hayley)
Thu 26th Jul 2018 23:10
it sounds like a mantra which i would naturally and easily live by. I write from the heart and I hope now that I am making my writing known and putting it out there that it could maybe help people or make people smile or feel something, hopefully positive after. This poem was the first I ever read aloud to anyone at my first poets night 2 months ago ? went down superbly and it seemed fitting to read aloud as I indeed was very much anxious about reading aloud (not a strong point for me) haha ?