I stopped feeling things so the universe would stop punishing me
I tried to feel it right, think it into existence, and withstand the resistance
I'm under decades of doubt
I'm afraid of what will happen when I come out
No longer behind the veil
But I got secret doubts that I can't tell
I'm operating on a fear of going to hell
Think it and be it
Pray it and believe it
Rare glimpses at the Master
Blank stares sculpted under plaster
Fake smiles staying for a while
I want to be free
I want the world to see the real me
Tear soaked and wearing a ripped cloak
I didn't do it
But I sure as hell been through it
Hell bound because I can't figure it out
Wondering if this Jesus is really what they say it's about