I read somewhere that "your wings were ready but our hearts were not",

It got me day dreaming, searching a lot,

Was your time always destined to play this way,

The promise of a life time, cruel intention, never meant to stay?!

 

I've told myself over and over and again,

That today is a gift, earned hard in yesterday's pain,

We gave you life, the sweet bond built with your mother,

In this life you are still treasured, yet you were meant for another...

 

Tell me now, what’s a parent supposed to do?

When we’re left reaching out to the ghost of you

You're the option A sailed away to sea

Nothing left but to kick the shit out of option B

 

Cherished reflections of what we assumed would be,

Tears & smiles, things you'd do, things we'd see,

We had already pictured your first day at school,

Seen you wrap daddy round your finger, his heart yours to rule,

 

You'd be Olivia's little apprentice in Chief,

She'd play with your hair, "take from the side, over and pass underneath"

You'd have argued and grown, been so close together,

You'd have talked boys, shared clothes, been best friends forever,

 

The boys would have adored you, protect as you grow,

Forget max and paddy, you'd have had Jim and joe!!!

They'd annoy you and tease, pinch and pull hair,

You'd get annoyed and scream, but secretly love that they're there,

 

Mum would have loved two mini me's at her side,

A formidable team taking the boys in their stride,

She'd spoil you, you'd clash, a bond built so strong,

Making memories together that would last all along,

 

Dad would have spoilt you, a willing slave to your smile,

He’s had to let you go already, though not as he hoped down an aisle,

Holding court in his heart to dreams of what would have been,

The minds film on repeat, real joy spilling forth with each scene,

 

Time we spent together was cruel and so fleeting

Bittersweet drops as we parted when we should have been meeting

Your tiny foot never bared weight but it still cut the path

For tears of submission to be replaced with little Teddys laugh.