The Ballad Of Barney Rose (He was a man and he had a nose)

 

There was a man and he had a nose

Not so strange one might suppose

But this chap's nose just grows and grows

And his name was Barney Rose

 

Pa Rose and Ma they weren't quite sure as they'd never had a baby before

and his schnozzle outgrew him by the age of four

when he started to walk it would drag on the floor

 

His name was Barney Rose,

he was a man and he had a nose

 

It would take a massive computer to calculate the size of Barney's humongous hooter

He was a man and he had a nose

His name was Barney Rose

 

This massive bugle did not impede through his career he did proceed,

so many choices for the man with the nose

Snowplough, Perfume Tester, Air Raid Siren, Fireman's hose

Pantomime Elephant (front end of course)

And a part time stable for fairly small horse

 

There was a man and he had a nose

His name was Barney Rose

 

When Barney sadly died, his grave was as usual 6 feet down

But to get his hooter inside

it had to be 20 feet wide!

 

His wife and children cried

and passed around the tissues (man sized)

for all his kids had been blessed with what their dad was remembered for best,

for dad there was no trumpet fanfare they simply blew their own bugles there

 

So ends the ballad of Barney Rose

He was a man and he had a nose

 

His name was Barney Rose

he was a man and he had a nose.