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If you can read this . . .

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If you can read this

you’re too close.

That’s what he used to say.

If you can read this

you’re too near

and I can’t bear it.

So be on your way.

 

Respect my private space.

Don’t get in my face.

If you can read this

you are too close

for comfort.

Just go away.

 

If you can see

the colour of my eyes

then look away.

You’re too close

for comfort.

That’s what he used to say.

Respect my private space.

Don’t get in my face.

Leave me alone

and go away.

 

If you can interpret

the expression on my face

you’re too close

for comfort.

That’s what he used to say.

Respect my private space.

Don’t get in my face.

Leave me alone

and go away.

 

If you can hear

the words I whisper

then you’re too close.

Please go away.

You’re in my private space.

Keep in your own place.

Please go away.

 

If you think that

you can see me cry

there must be something

in your own eye.

Mine are clear,

no grief here.

Respect my private space.

Don’t get in my face.

Leave me alone

and go away.

 

 

photo bb mm25

◄ my love is like the train waiting

Pollyanna ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (7073)

Tue 12th Jan 2010 12:51

I love the sound of your voice Annipoo..... sad but heart wrenching poem though, I hope it isn't about you.
Love TC XX

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Rachel McGladdery

Sun 10th Jan 2010 22:30

You must perform this sometime, you have a wonderful voice....did I detect a hint of northern in there too?
A beautiful poem, beautifully read.
Rachel
x

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Tom Harding

Sat 9th Jan 2010 15:30

i like the way you extract emotional depth from such a prosaic wordly phrase. it reminds me of latter day joni mitchell.

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 9th Jan 2010 14:20

Hi Ann,
love the poem and the repetition works really well.
I enjoyed listening to the audio too. It's difficult for me to comment on how you portray it because as a reader, i expected more anger as he spoke those words which didn't come across except in the latter part of your audio.
Having said that, it was a lovely surprise because as you interpret it, it's more of a private conversation between two persons who are close enough to speak candidly in such a way as to let the other know how they tick.

That's the thing about reading poetry and listening to it performed. It can be portrayed in many ways and not always as expected. Chris Dawson's the one to speak to for advice on this.
She did an audio on one of hers once which had the same response from me. Where i expected an angry rant style poem and the reality was so very different.
That's what's so great about the performance scene... and the website enhances the experience when we can actually read the poem and decide for ourselves the reaction to it.
That's what's so good about poetry in general. Everyone has the opportunity to interpret for themselves how a poem can be and so different to what the author intended. Sometimes it's good when people get it wrong because it puts a whole new perspective on the written word which even the writer might not have realized when writing the piece.

I love poetry like this.
Thanks,
Janet.xx

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