he never had nervous ticks; 

he wasn’t Zizek

lately he’d been getting

into the habit of choking himself

 

it wasn’t a fetish; that he’d checked

rather it came after

a series of bodily warnings

that he was coming out of himself

 

he started pruning hairs 

in strange places 

he started to sweat 

on the top of his head

 

he had to shave now 

almost daily 

lately he’d been putting 

his hand on his neck

 

just making sure the flesh 

wouldn’t all come off yet

it’d gotten looser

he’d gotten scared 

 

yet still couldn’t 

think of himself 

as the age 

of his dad