That day my sweetheart landed with a brown bag in his hand,

I was sitting in the sunshine at my ease.

He put a burger in my hand and I couldn’t understand

Why he’d brought me one without the chuffin’ cheese.

 

It was beautifully done, with a lovely seeded bun,

But the look I gave him put him on his knees;

When he said “What is it hon?”, I said it simply isn’t done;

It’s very nice, but where’s the chuffin’ cheese?

 

He was standing in a trance as I pierced him with a glance

That must have measured minus ten degrees

I said there is no second chance that’s the end of our romance

What good is this without the chuffin’ cheese

 

So when next I meet a bloke, be he rich or stony broke,

He’ll have to learn the way for me to please.

It just isn’t ever oke, not even as a joke;

My burger’s gotta have the chuffin’ cheese.