10/19/2018
I don't have anything else to give.

I don't have anything else to give and I'm on the floor dying.

Don't they realize she has let go so many times. Not so easily attainable, her need for respect is insatiable.
But so unreachable every time her fingers stretch out to touch it.
Nothing will ever change, each person will treat her the same.
Chew me up and spit me out with my swollen almond eyes.
I begged and begged for you to show me your actions and my mind and my dreams played tricks on me.
With me curled into a ball only to find out the tricks were not created by me, but by everybody else.
I will stay inside of myself, I will share nothing with anybody else. This is how it will be.
Each time I take a chance, the devil surrounds me with his dance. His dance of "told you so's" and laughs at lies I believed.
Perhaps I am never meant to be happy with anyone else but me.
So I don't have anything else to give, sometimes I question my reason to live. Knowing I am all that there is for me, knowing my heart has proven me right time and time again.
You will never see my soul for who she is, you will never understand the mindset in which I live. You are blind and selfish. You do not love me at all. Your eyes only anger with satisfaction as I crash and fall.
Floating, falling down, until suddenly faster my body dived, with hair covering my vision as I head for the ground.
Until suddenly faster my body slammed into the ground breaking every single one of my fragile bones and my limbs ached for recovery and my heart ached for understanding and my head ached for death.

I don't have anything left.