Numb, neutral, feeling off
the pain too much to feel
how can this hurt, they scoff
as my senses start to reel
Time alone is time to think
to worry, to brood, to pine
moments of pain begin to link
and I'm anything but fine
Though these scars are twenty years old
they remain unhealed and raw
my world upheaved, my security sold
tossed unwanted to the gaping maw
disowned, forgotten, unloved
ignored, in the way, a bother
the lack of care in my face is shoved
shunned for the sins of the father
The need to feel safe and loved remains
abandonment is a constant fear
anxiety and worry too much to contain
security and love are none too clear
Words are just words, behaviors misread
emotions bring discomfort, defend with humor
innuendos and overtures, I'm easily mislead
distracted, cheap, grist for the mill of rumor
My safe, secure place sometimes harms
My center sometimes leads me astray
But he knows when to put on the charms
in his arms, he can mold me like clay
I know he cares, though at times it doesn't show
his discomfort I must take into account
I only hope, as we continue to grow
these obstacles we'll be able to surmount.