11/5/2018

Crawling on my elbows through trenches just to get away from you. Knowing if you catch me you'll destroy me like you destroyed you. My sub conscious trying to get in touch with me for weeks but I was strong and you were weak, sucking all the love and joy right out of me. I'm a bluebird picking up and leaving. For my next destination. Growing tired in desperation to rest comfortably in a nest. I want someone to stop and take care of me for once, I just wanna rest. I've layed next to people close enough to hear their heart beating in their chest, close enough to warm my fragile, hidden state, close enough to fold my tired wings. But it's like when someone grazes my skin, they don't feel a thing. Just once I'd like to trust another to keep watch as I sleep, to hold up the ground underneath my feet, to wrap their arms around me and expect nothing back in that moment. To close my eyes in a dark room and be enveloped in love and protection, to wake up to something other than my own reflection. My speed is growing slower and I'm running out of strength. Sometimes it feels like all I've got left are swollen eyes and faith