They tell me to be happy. 

They tell me that ‘no one sits alone’ 

that there’s ‘no bullying at this school!’

but I can tell you firsthand that that’s not true. 

Not one bit. 

At night, 

I cry. 

I cry myself a river, as they say

because I cannot cry any other time. 

They will just tell me that I’m sad

or to cheer up

or the awful ‘what’s wrong?’

It just won’t do. 

So I cry. 

Rainbow tears for those who are bullied

and shunned and commit suicide

for being of a different sexuality. 

Dark, dark tears for those who are depressed. 

Tears of black for the rape victims. 

Tears of pearl for those who are disabled. 

Salty tears for the

ones who have committed suicide.

I cry and I cry. 

And my eyes are red in the morning. 

But I do it again. 

And again and again. 

Because for as long as we live,

these are all going to happen. 

Nothing will change. 

I have no say in it, 

for what can I do?

They silence me when I try to speak. 

They talk over me. 

They tell me to shut up and that I don’t matter. 

Someday I will show them what they have done. 

Even if it costs me my life.