So many people asked me how I could love such a man. How I could love such a selfish, childish man. And why I kept going back to him. Oh, why did I keep going back. For the longest time, I couldn’t give them an answer, for I had no words. Nothing but pain surfaced when I was asked such questions. Because I loved him, with all of me. 

Then one day, I finally found the words to describe him..and his love. 

Loving him was like being without rain. When you’re without rain, you miss it. You miss the way it sounds. The way it smells. The way it hits your windows hard, then slides down ever so slowly..and softly. Maybe you even miss the way it tastes. Wait..God yes..you absolutely miss the way it tastes. 

So, when you’re without it; rain...you run into it. You want to bask in it. Dance in it. Embrace every part of it. Only to find it’s not the good kind of rain. Its’ acid rain. He. He is acid rain. But by the time you find this out, it’s too late. You’re already drowning in it. It’s already melted your skin off, and found its way to your heart..melting that, too. 

So then why keep running back into the acid rain? Because your heart, your soul, is already destroyed. What more can it do? But do keep in mind, the more you bathe in the acid rain...the more you will melt, and not in the good way. The more you will crave the good kind of rain. 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely addicting. It’s a sick addiction. It’s like you get off on the pain- the way it burns. 

Fight it. Run away. It will plead for you to dance with it, to dance in it. To soil your innocence.. to wash away anything pure you had on you.. or in you. 

From afar, the acid rain looks so appealing..so fucking refreshing..so..irresistible. 

But that’s because you’ve never felt it yet..so wait...don’t rush. Listen. Watch. Observe. Be smart. 

I learned the hard way. I will always love him. I will always love acid rain. I know how sick that sounds. But, since then, I’ve danced in the good rain...and I know I can never go back to mingling with acid rain. It took me a long time to heal from something so incredibly toxic. It is only you and good rain that can, and will heal you. 

I hope one day acid rain makes a deal with God and cleanses himself. 

I hope he feels true happiness someday.

But as long as rain contains acid..and continues hurting everyone it touches...it will never find it’s happy. I think thats what makes me the most sad, over anything.