Tell me something

Do you think I'm happy your gone? Cause it's not I have fallen and trying to get up without you cause honestly

Your the reason I am who I am and I thank you for that.

But tell me something how can I fill the void of we're you once were. Cause I know I'm falling and I'm longing for a change but I see in bad times I find myself and get a reality check. And seeing I'm still standing without you.

The people I have met and the people that left me you showed me that it's possible to keep moving.maybe I'm hurting cause all I think about is what if I could have changed it.

You once told me that everything you do and say always has a price.

I realized I said something to D cause I realized and heard your voice saying " tell the truth cause if you don't it will hurt you cause she didn't hear it from you for the first and last time."

Funny thing I did and you were right felt pain cause I wasn't honest after everything she and I been thru.

As I am Sitting here and see that you told me to hold her close cause one day you'll be gone don't know how don't know when but someday it will happen.

But do know you didn't want me to be alone.

I see that now if I could see you and tell you the truth I would I see why you wanted me to before it was to late even after I knew it was to late but better then never saying it.

I see now I have been lost and you left me with someone I told you so much about and spoke highly of but look at me now I have no idea what to do rather she stays or walks away but I felt like I lost everything.

If I wasn't broken maybe things would have been okay.

But watch me as I dive in.

If she gives me the chance to redeem myself and to show that I will never leave her even if it's a distance friend.

But I fear myself that I will lose but least I tried right? As I wear you around my neck give me strength and guidance

I just want her to keep the promise we made to always be there for eachother that's all I ask basically.

Treat her like a frieddie and Mary

(Life long friend)

And 

Believe in eachother.