When The Aliens Landed In Grimstone Low

 

The aliens came looking for intelligent life

And, not being too sure where to go

Did a three-point-turn in Heckmondwike

And landed in Grimstone low

 

They’d been travelling for many a lightyear

Since their capsule had left the ark

And they pulled up on Maggot-farm Boulevard

It was ten bob an hour to park 

 

A door slid open with a grinding creak

And out stepped this hideous creature

With orange skin, and only one eye

And that was her prettiest feature

 

It was Gladys Thrupp from number ten

Who’d been a stunner in her day

That’s a stunner in the abattoir

I nearly forgot to say

 

She’d let herself go a bit… of late

Since her hubby had said goodbye

And ran off with his blow-up doll

To leave her high and dry

 

Now it’s not every day that you see a great spaceship

Parked right outside your front door

She put on her monocle, to take in the sight

Eager to see a bit more

 

“I come in peace” said one little green man

“I come in peace too” said his buddy

“We’ve come in search of intelligent life”

“And this looks like a place we can study”

 

Now Yorkshire is known for being friendly

And for hospitality

She put in her teeth, to smile, and said

“Are you coming in for some tea?”

 

All those lightyears getting here

Their time would have been better spent

Learning more about irony

And what euphemisms meant

 

They were in there for nearly two hours

Then left.. With a trail of slime

They may not have found their intelligent life

But boy did they have a good time