I take thee to be my wedded significant other,

to have and to hold,

when we can fit it in around school runs,

shopping trips, dance classes

and football matches;

for better or for worse;

and what could be worse than

standing up here dressed in this ridiculous regalia

in front of all these people,

to tell them what we and they already know?

For richer, for poorer?

Poorer now;

we’ll be paying for this for years!

In sickness and in health;

with the kids at school

picking up all kinds of bugs,

being ill will probably fill the days and years.

Till death us do part?

Well, we haven’t killed each other

so far,

so maybe we’re good for the long haul.