Cigarettes
You cling to me
In my hair and clothes
Through my teeth
Burning the back of my throat
Filling me
With your sweet sick scent
You make my fingers itch,
It wasn’t the same when you went.
I know how very bad you are
I want you
Comments
I do like this one Emma. I like how short and to the point it is and I really like the way it alludes to things other than cigarettes...addiction is addiction, after all. No matter what...or who...you're addicted to :-)
<Deleted User> (7164)
Fri 26th Feb 2010 12:25
I'm a smoker and know people who've given up. I also know people who could relate to this in another sense too, not just cigarettes.
Maybe a change of title would put a different spin on it, especially if you wanted to perform it.
In which case Rodney's not far out with his idea of expansion. You could add a twist at the end referring to cigarettes.
Just a thought of course. Your poem, your call. :-)
Janet.x
i disagree with rodney here... i think this piece works well as it is... i particularly liked the first few lines but enjoyed the full piece.
<Deleted User> (6353)
Thu 25th Feb 2010 16:31
A fun poem - and I agree with Graham, very concise and neat. I have never smoked so do not know what giving up feels like, but I imagine it can't be easy! :-)
Well done for giving up (I hope). Neat little concise piece here, all hanging on the last line. Resist.
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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh
Thu 18th Mar 2010 00:02
Wheres my fags?