I'm raging without a reason.
Clenching my teeth and balling my fists,
trying to keep it in.
But it won't stay back.
It's pushing at the top, forcing a way out.,
and my grip is getting weaker.
My eyes are burning,
nearly ready to throw out flames
and it's hard to stop the tears.
Hot and angry, they distort my vision
but i don't really care.
I barely notice them,
the red is falling
and i'm starting to get lost inside it.

The sounds around me are muffled.
Distant and meaningless,
as i bite down on my lip to stop from screaming.
But i can't.
It spills from my lips like a banshee's wail,
sharp and filled with sadness.
I scream until my lungs hurt and my voice cracks,
almost tearing a hole in my throat.
As i gulp the air, trying to recover my chest,
my knees give way beneath me and i crumple,
bone-tired and numb.

For a time, i stay there,
curled foetal and defenceless.
Thinking of nothing and everything together.
Eventually sleep takes me and i go,
willingly, glad to switch it off for a while.
My dreams are restless and vague,
leaving a hazy handprint on my mind when i wake.
Sweat drenched and weary,
my relief was shortlived and i know the red will return.
It doesn't matter when it comes back,
only how furious it will be when it does and I wish i knew.

But i don't.