(I cannot, in truth, blame Boris.  He is a liar.  Everyone knows he lies.  He lied about Brexit.  Everyone knows he lied about Brexit.  But no-one who voted for Brexit accepts they were lied to.  Or, if they do, they don't care.  And that is far worse).

 

I am Boris Johnson; now my story shall be told;

I have plundered an existence, positioning myself to my advantage;

“All lies and jest”;

Still you pricks hear what you want to hear and disregard the rest,

Denying any part in Britain’s mess.

 

On the rostrum stands a joker and a liar by his trade

And he’s made his reputation

On bumbling and endearing daft tomfoolery;

A harmless tool;

But he knew what he was doing as he played you all for fools,

So it’s you as well as him I ridicule.

 

“I was once a European advocating we must stay

Then I saw that my advancement

Was better served by leaving from the Union;

I quickly sussed

That a lie about saved millions and then painted on a bus

Would enhance the chance of victory for us.

 

Lie lie lie; yes, I knew it was a lie;

Lie lie lie; our campaign was nothing more than lie on lie.

 

And, of course, the Turks were coming and we said the new trade deals

Were the easiest in history

But look around – you’ll see that still we’ve got none;

I do declare!

I had doubts that you’d be gullible enough to even care

But sense among Leave voters was so rare!

Then Blessed Day!

When my plan all came together with the fall of Mrs May

And the Labour Party all in disarray.

 

I await my coronation as their leader and PM

Achieved without a single thought or policy inside my noddle,

Just “lies and jest”;

Yes, you pricks heard what you want to hear

Despite the glaring proof;

I always knew you’d disregard the truth.

 

Lies and lies; lies and lies and lies and lies;

Lies and lies; lies and lies and lies and lies.

Lies and lies etc.