Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

The Row

I bathe in your unconditional love

The YES you offer me

A haze, a fog, a ghostly offering

Of complete acceptance.

Then through the mists,

A granite block

A NO.

A hidden place of defining lines,

Sharp edges,

Cold shoulders

Shaped by ancestors

Your personal geology.

Diving deep

I explore the coral

Of my own reef

And find it jagged, dangerous.

I have sharp edges of my own.

Our words tear through the air

Like fireworks, screaming, screeching, spinning

Ear splitting.

Exploding high in the sky

In bursts of phosphorescence

Then fallling to the earth

Empty, exhausted, extinguished.

Everything and all

Extinguished.

 

🌷(5)

◄ What is life?

More Beautiful Than They Would Have Us Believe ►

Comments

Profile image

Hazel ettridge

Sun 11th Aug 2019 14:27

Hi Raj, I've been absent from WOL myself. Sometimes writing drags me off to places I don't much like and I have to take a break. Hope you're well and returning from 'within' with treasure.

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Sat 10th Aug 2019 08:21

"I explore the coral
Of my own reef
And find it jagged, dangerous.
I have sharp edges of my own."

and then..
fallling to the earth
Empty, exhausted, extinguished.
Everything and all
Extinguished.

I've always enjoyed your writing Hazel.
I've been away, going within.
Back now. Hope you are well.

Raj

Profile image

Adam Rabinowitz

Wed 7th Aug 2019 15:59

I felt this inside outside uppy downness while reading from mist to corral to fireworks. Well written. I hope it made you feel better as well to write (tons of assumption there but I write to heal myself and think others do as well)

Profile image

Hazel ettridge

Wed 7th Aug 2019 13:04

Thank you so much for the comments and likes. I'm a little out of practice.

Profile image

Jason Bayliss

Wed 7th Aug 2019 12:49

I thought exactly the same, beautifully written with some really powerful language.
Sharp edges and cold shoulders, is an inspired line. Strong enough to be a title.

J. x

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Wed 7th Aug 2019 10:52

There are some lovely words in this tumultuous piece Hazel. I like this passage particularly

Sharp edges,

Cold shoulders

Shaped by ancestors

Your personal geology.

Diving deep

I explore the coral

Of my own reef

And find it jagged, dangerous.

I have sharp edges of my own.

There is colour throughout, culminating in the fireworks

Profile image

keith jeffries

Wed 7th Aug 2019 10:28

Powerful language with a stark clarity of purpose.

Keith

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message