The Echoes poetry competition to celebrate Write Out Loud's 20th anniversary is now open.  Judged by Neil Astley.

Competition closes in 10 days, 23 hours. Get details and Enter.

Interpretive Dance

Shoo, 
go away.

I only want young, thin, pretty girls 
to look my way.

I don't care if they have anything 
intelligent to say.

I just want them to ooh and awe 
at my game. 

Of course I have no shame,
my past is to blame.

Yes, this dance could drive  
the thinker insane.

So, leave with your dignity,
while I toss back another one, 
and twirl my ring. 

# # #


 

 

🌷(6)

dancedignityshamerespectdiscriminationlifelovemisogynynarcissismrelationshipsthe past

◄ Can We Pretend

At Last ►

Comments

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Sat 14th Sep 2019 03:56

Lisa D, your comment made me laugh out loud. Thanks for reading and sharing your beautiful sense of humor. I thought about deleting this poem a few times, but I’m glad I didn’t because your comment, while funny reveals a deeper truth. No less than five guys I know came to mind as I wrote this poem including my estranged husband! I don’t understand love that is only skin deep. I suppose it is more about fears and insecurities.

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Sat 14th Sep 2019 03:41

Thank you Tom! I toiled on those last three lines for hours and changed them several times. I’m glad the ones I settled on work well enough to earn some feedback. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment. ?

Profile image

Tom

Fri 13th Sep 2019 16:48

I really enjoyed this, particularly the last 3 lines. It's quiet but feels very assured and firm. Really nicely judged.

Lisa's comment made me laugh too. ?

Profile image

lisa donohoe

Fri 13th Sep 2019 08:56

I believe all men over the age of 40 need to stay away from the much younger crowds. .
They really need a woman who knows the signs of a possible stroke ???

No good having your money taking for sweets and nights out with there pals, while there is a chance of them making fun of you when you make that funny face ???

Ooppps: bet they wish they kept there wife ..

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Thu 12th Sep 2019 21:25

I agree Lisa❣️

Profile image

Lisa C Bassignani

Thu 12th Sep 2019 21:10

Art is a wonderful salve

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Thu 12th Sep 2019 19:16

Thanks Keith. I appreciate your feedback. Poems that cut deep often look blue (cathartic) to the author, but red (flippant) to others. I believe a poet's work is in airing the wound so it can heal.

Profile image

keith jeffries

Thu 12th Sep 2019 18:00

As I finished reading this unusual poem the word "flippant" came to mind. I do like the words, "of course I have no shame, my past is to blame".
enjoyed this and thanks
Keith

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message