Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Interpretive Dance

Shoo, 
go away.

I only want young, thin, pretty girls 
to look my way.

I don't care if they have anything 
intelligent to say.

I just want them to ooh and awe 
at my game. 

Of course I have no shame,
my past is to blame.

Yes, this dance could drive  
the thinker insane.

So, leave with your dignity,
while I toss back another one, 
and twirl my ring. 

# # #


 

 

🌷(6)

dancedignityshamerespectdiscriminationlifelovemisogynynarcissismrelationshipsthe past

◄ Can We Pretend

At Last ►

Comments

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Sat 14th Sep 2019 03:56

Lisa D, your comment made me laugh out loud. Thanks for reading and sharing your beautiful sense of humor. I thought about deleting this poem a few times, but I’m glad I didn’t because your comment, while funny reveals a deeper truth. No less than five guys I know came to mind as I wrote this poem including my estranged husband! I don’t understand love that is only skin deep. I suppose it is more about fears and insecurities.

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Sat 14th Sep 2019 03:41

Thank you Tom! I toiled on those last three lines for hours and changed them several times. I’m glad the ones I settled on work well enough to earn some feedback. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment. ?

Profile image

Tom

Fri 13th Sep 2019 16:48

I really enjoyed this, particularly the last 3 lines. It's quiet but feels very assured and firm. Really nicely judged.

Lisa's comment made me laugh too. ?

Profile image

lisa donohoe

Fri 13th Sep 2019 08:56

I believe all men over the age of 40 need to stay away from the much younger crowds. .
They really need a woman who knows the signs of a possible stroke ???

No good having your money taking for sweets and nights out with there pals, while there is a chance of them making fun of you when you make that funny face ???

Ooppps: bet they wish they kept there wife ..

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Thu 12th Sep 2019 21:25

I agree Lisa❣️

Profile image

Lisa C Bassignani

Thu 12th Sep 2019 21:10

Art is a wonderful salve

Profile image

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Thu 12th Sep 2019 19:16

Thanks Keith. I appreciate your feedback. Poems that cut deep often look blue (cathartic) to the author, but red (flippant) to others. I believe a poet's work is in airing the wound so it can heal.

Profile image

keith jeffries

Thu 12th Sep 2019 18:00

As I finished reading this unusual poem the word "flippant" came to mind. I do like the words, "of course I have no shame, my past is to blame".
enjoyed this and thanks
Keith

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message