"My son is a chav"
She says
as she sits and she picks
at the fluff on her new,
rip off, Versace bag.

"He'll have an ASBO in no time"
She laments
as she traces the outline
of her gold sovereign rings
one for each finger of each hand.

"I got him one of them Burberry caps"
She whines
To whoever will listen.
"But he says it's SO 2004!"
and he's right.

Because she laments and she whines
When all the while she's breeding
The little swines
like they were going out of fashion;
Like the Burberry cap.