Love me Tinder Love me do … Looking for love in the modern age

 

I recently found myself single, it came as no surprise

The relationship gradually dwindled culminating in total demise

I’ve not wooed a girl with a chat up line for over twenty-one years

I’m told nowadays love is found on-line and it’s easier than it appears.

 

There’s a plethora of single ladies with profiles on the net

All showcased on a carousel playing relationship roulette

The decision-making process for determining right/wrong type

Not interested swipe left, Miss right then right swipe

 

Swipe … Loving69 … Fifty Years of age … Pickering Brook

Five feet four … curvaceous … likes walking and reading books

I’m keen until I realise that the sixty-nine numerical reference

Is an indicator for year of birth and not her sexual preference.

 

Swipe … CuntCockWantCock … aged forty-nine … Perth Central

I’m thinking Nymphomaniac, Chronic Tourette’s or completely fucking mental.

Turns out its Can’tCookWon’tCook my subconscious or my eyes deceived me

Which explains why she likes dining out and eating takeaway whilst watching TV

 

Swipe … Crystal … Forty-three … Myaree … Forty-three my arse

Unruly hair, bad complexion, teeth few, far between and sparse

Her profile pics like a mugshot for repeat shoplifting conviction

Looks like Crystals a shopaholic but shopping’s not her addiction

 

Swipe … DivaDavina … forty-six … Dianella

Likes watching football and drinks pints of Stella

Adams apple, lantern jaw, she’s no Cinderella

Davina’s more Dave like for she resembles a Fella

 

 

Swipe … BeautifulBella … Thirty-seven years old … living in Highgate

Vital statistics Thirty-six Double D, Twenty-four, Twenty-eight

This girl has it all, ticks all the boxes, the perfect smile, figure and looks

She is sassy and classy but comes at a price, a date costs you two hundred bucks

 

Love me Tinder, love me dear, tell me you are mine

It’s not as simple as it looks finding love on-line