Transcribed Lecture by Pastor Deacon Priestly Nunford Goddard III

The Bastard Jesus Is Not The Same As The Real Jesus.
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Jesus had too much love for women. And too much for the weak and helpless, an right in even the lowliest of bloodlines to sustain mundanity by the sub-conscious pleasure in the real-time viewing of another’s failings. And of course, the level of humiliation varies depending on the instigating Line. But Jesus said No.
That was the point: no one can ever be unlovable. Because we are the spark that through many quanta cloak us in His often invisible and indivisible Light.
However, a new image of Jesus the Christ has emerged. One of the utmost raunch, bathing and whatnot, sopping, bare-breasted Persian women, Angelic Scandinavian pagans and their filthy midnight tricks even tried to tempt our Holy Saviour but all ended up converting just by listening to him speak. That way, his penetration was spiritual, you see, he was inside them all the time then. And that’s how I like to think of ffour saviour every now and then when I’m really swettin' it: Jesus is deep inside me right now. We are one. I feel him filling me up 

Part Two: Jesus was always a......Bastard?

Thank you for joining me in this group ritual we call KEKfest opinion stage. Dim rites have become the new sacrament. Religion has become a fad like Facebook or Justin Bieberlake, and one of their main points of argument is that Jesus Christ, son of God, who mastered reality before he even turned 30 and began his public ministry, is a bastard.
Now, what I don’t get is how does somebody who has not one but TWO daddies be called a bastard? In my hometown we call that a 'doublecundrum'
And there’s those gnostic scholars – and I hope the stenographer put a capital G on gnostic there because sticks and stones may break my points but refusal to openly debate an honestly curious intellectual rival hurts the funds and I choose sticks and stones over an annual fallout anyday Zeb.

Part Three: Jesus Christ The Man The Myth The Bastard

So we’ve established that not only was Jesus not a bastard but we showed that there’s no such thing as a bastard in the first place. We are all God’s children therefore orphanage even the term is made entirely obsolete. Of course, God can’t come down here and be a role model to each individual in search of paternal guidance but he has left us proof, even less corruptible than mouth to mouth or the written word; He left behind trace elements of Light deep inside the vault of the sacred Aethyr, and in those Akhashik records you wil see who the real bastards are
If we forgot the church, the trinkets, the vile display of wealth and the privatisation of knowledge that the secret Vatican library represents and actually just followed the teachings of Jesus the Christ, the world, the universe, and the future would thank us with tears in their eyes.

Thanq for listening and whether you believe or not God bless