At 18 years old I could run the one lap

Of 400 metres in one minute flat;

These days I’ll tell you I flew like a bat

Quicker than Usain because

The older I get, the better I was.

 

My qualifications don’t do much for me

But I could have completed a Masters degree

Instead I accomplished 2 GCSE’s

But I could have been Einstein because

The older I get, the better I was.

 

I played till my twenties some rugby and I’d

Just about make the local club side

I stayed undiscovered – my talent denied

But I could have made England because

The older I get, the better I was.

 

Throughout my career I became overlooked

Potential was there but just undercooked

So from the great multitude was never plucked

I could have been Branson because

The older I get, the better I was.

 

And as for the ladies they fell at my knees

And bedding them was effortless breeze

But the gentleman in me averted such sleaze

There’s no question I could have because

The older I get, the better I was.