It surrounds me like a fog
A blanket, a miasma
A cloak of shame.
It coats all I do
Colours everything I am
It begins to define me
It is not something
That I can prevent,
I only hope to resist
And in that hope
Lies a desperate wish
A far off dream
A dream lost in haze
Trapped in a maze
Of depression.
My depression
It surrounds me like a fog;
My own cloak of shame.
I agree with Jo here. I could have never had the guts to share this on here. You're a brave man m8 in particular if this is the truth as it certainly appears like it is.
The circular affects over my own cloak of shame brings it to a nice conclusion. Perhaps for just changing the pace on the first 'my own cloak of shame' i would remove the 'own' just to see if that changes it round a bit and leaves the second one with even more impact.
keep em coming although - enjoyed this.
<Deleted User> (6884)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 03:07
Good poem Steven, and the one you did before this one, 'Cracks'. They feel quite raw. Jo
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Emma Robinson
Tue 6th Apr 2010 13:11
I like the link words between stanzas which acts like a strand between each one for someone to cling on to, does that make sense? I also like the fog which creeps through each stanza and gives the impression of the I in the poem's state of mind. I like it SK :)