Took my wife to the doctor today

I left her there in the waiting room and told her I would pick her up tomorrow

when I got back she was still filling out the paperwork

it would take a Philadelphia lawyer to decipher all the terms and conditions

and it has to be witnessed and stamped by a notary

people used to read the magazines while waiting

now they immediately break out their cell phones

even the 80 year olds are on their phones

checking Facebook and Twitter and texting away with arthritic fingers

it's sickening to get sick and that's why its best to shy away from doctors

people tend to get sick in hospitals and waiting rooms

the people there are so exhausted from waiting their immune systems break down

some even develop early stages of Rigor Mortis

I tapped one guy on the shoulder and he fell out of his chair

they were waiting for the ambulance or the cleaning company to move his body

they always give you an appointment time but then the doc doesn't honor it

when they finally call your name it just means you get moved to a smaller room

to wait some more, only there are no magazines to read and no TV

so you have to just stare at the walls and pretend you Like being ignored

then comes the tap on the door and you are so happy

because you think the Doc has finally arrived, but no

it's just the nurse who will ask you to repeat what you just spent two days on

answering all those medical questions all the way back to your birth

if they could go back further they would

the doctor of course is just so busy they always tell you

it isn't easy being a God among mortals

dealing with common people is nasty and that's why they wash their hands so often 

You pray to God, you wait for Doctors

now doctors have given up on their white coats and professional attire

because they want to be seen as just Regular People

but regular people would not make you suffer so long in a waiting room

one day the doctor will show up and scare the heck out of the patients

kind of like shock therapy, it will scare them into health...or death

whichever comes first

next time you go see a doctor take an inflatable mattress with you

it could take a while and you may need to spend the night

by the way, The Wife finally got to see the doctor live and in person

he recommended a battery of tests to see if she needs more tests

they love those tests you know, it keeps the lawyers at bay

and keeps them out of court so they can play more golf

and so it goes, our search for decent Health care is lost in waiting rooms

they take your blood, they take your urine

they take your pride, then they take all your money

then tell you with a smile the insurance doesn't cover whatever it is you have

and even if it did, you haven't met the deductible

so would you like to finance for 48 months or 60 months?

have you tried alternative medicine, like Faith healing.  Holy water?  Voodoo?

 

Physician, heal thyself

Patient, do likewise!

It's cheaper and faster

and you won't die in the waiting room.