(The counterpart to my previous "We are the Baby Boomers")

 

We are Millennial Snowflakes

So PC and woke

Always wearing pained expressions

Suffering from acute depression

Being young is oh-so stressful

Life’s beyond a joke

There’s no-one suffers more than me

Why, yesterday most cruelly

I got no signal on 4G

I need a snort of coke.

 

And we Millennial Snowflakes

Want it all today

Whatever is our latest craving

We can’t be arsed scrimp and saving

And cos we’re so entitled

Want it on a tray

We can’t be arsed with cookery

Or washing up the crockery

We’ll send out for a KFC

Or Chinese take-a-way

 

We are Millennial Snowflakes

Years and years in school

The sports we played were all but useless

No-one wins and no-one loses

Teachers dare not hurt our feelings

Dare not say call us fools

I called a teacher “Gormless Twat”

Then hit her with a cricket bat

She simply said “Please don’t do that.

Sit on the naughty stool”.

 

We are Millennial Snowflakes

Quick to take offence

Be it Mrs Slocombe’s “pussies”

Love Thy Neighbour, On the Buses

Emotionally we’re fragile

So delicate that hence

We abhor gender demarcation

Cultural Appropriation

Blaming the last generation

We lack commonsense.