Code Red
As this home of ghost talks
I asks who am I to love me
I’ve become the melancholy victim withering away
With in the act of solitude
I forget to move my bones
Love is gone without hope
Clinging memories of false pretence
I begin to swallow away the ocean
Like the virus inside the hand of god
I’m death without love
For silence is a blessing
In the memories of death it’s cold
...
Friday 18th August 2023 1:30 pm
Bother
With corrupted lungs, I breathe pesticide
If I died today, would you cry?
With a pistol to my head, I won't say goodbye
I'll print pretty pictures with love
I miss them days with you
So best friend thank you for two days of catching up
Now I've got to go wouldn't want to hurt you
With words, I don't approve of her
Every day I see her I swallow my tongue
Because she cheats she lies, an...
Sunday 2nd April 2023 1:05 am
The lack of sodium
Memories added up escaping a past
I tried to run from I want to be a nobody
So my face is not loved
Just like the words of a break up
So tell the stores of us
But don’t forget I never loved you
I only did when it helped me
These are the lies I need told
So no one is hurt by the end of my life
I was hollow and alone
Happy and miserable
A oxymoron but beautifully paired
To ...
Friday 3rd March 2023 11:04 pm
If I Relapse?
If I relapse it’s death for me
If I relapse it’s another scar I can’t erase
My February blues is more of a midnight
So I’ll call you when my demons are quiet
Would it kill you to say you care
Goddamn I’m lost inside my mind
I don’t know how to swim
So call this drowning above water
Damn this rainy season
Has me think death as an answer
When I know better
So I’ll call you ...
Friday 17th February 2023 8:14 pm
I Wish You Was Happy
Would it kill you to act like you care
I wanted nothing but love from you
You wanted another suicide attempt
The truth is I’m so fucking sad
But if I make everyone laugh it’s not as bad
So melancholy fever never look so down
This February blues is a shot I can’t do
So it feels like I’m falling to the ground
Thursday 16th February 2023 10:11 am
Sacrificing forsaken Blessings
This feeling is a betrayal
So why did you go again
Tried to be good this time
So why are you always leaving me
I can’t believe this anymore
How could you love me then go
Is it because I can’t give you a child
I’m sorry I can’t breathe
I holding my love back
This feeling is a betrayal
I can’t define in words
Is it because I can’t give you a child
How could you love me t...
Sunday 12th February 2023 6:40 pm
The Dead of a raven
I told myself I wouldn’t write another line
You make me feel so used
I’m done lying to myself you cared
When the black lines screams another story
So tell the world you’re an ally
At the same time you buy
Products that hurt our community
Love is love and your hold up signs
Until it come to T in LGBTIA+
My safe haven was made by a bigot
So them memories were corrupted
So th...
Saturday 11th February 2023 3:16 pm
The Good Die In Love
The devil wasn’t there helping you
So tell me another lie to get you by
I need a moment for air
I can’t come up
Give me a sign you still love me
I’m giving up on this
What are we again?
I miss the non-binary human
I picked to live my life with
Goddamn give me a something real here
I pray with sinfully hands
Wanting to hold you again
I miss the idea of you
Because I’m a s...
Tuesday 7th February 2023 3:25 am
America the fascist
Remember when people said that we live in a first world nation but we can't even have basic healthcare for all so how can that be when women's rights gay rights trans rights are being took away so I might have to step on your stupid red hat maybe then you might wake up and see the light but I highly doubt it your homophobe a racist and God damn chess beater will do anything for your God but you ha...
Sunday 31st July 2022 10:07 pm
Self-righteou
You're so narcissistic that it makes me want to put a gun to my head I wish that I was kidding but this would only be words for the saint you're so oblivious that people love you that you kick them out before you really know them it's fucking nauseating how you think that everyone hates you yeah I get it you have trauma but so does everyone they don't use that to make everyone else feel like shit ...
Friday 29th July 2022 9:26 pm
Generation X spineless cowards
I lost myself somewhere under the rainbow filled with lead poisoning but it's okay if the polar caps are only melting the world will be underwater it doesn't matter if it's soon
We called it home but it was something more about lie that mother told us to get on our knees and pray all the bad away would have had better luck praying for fish gills
To put the guns to our heads generation of no ...
Friday 24th June 2022 3:19 am
Chocolate Desolated Abusive Lovestruck Home
Hopelessly being attracted to things that is vile will never get you anywhere the rapidly abused to the point you can confuse it for love is a sin unbelievably heartless for you have become a poor misfortunate soul inside a scabbed over wound that is pushing to bleed like a motion that you are sadly left behind protect yourself from all of the other vial things that truly loved you forever Alone n...
Wednesday 8th June 2022 8:04 pm
The thought of how could you do this to me
I'm dying to be loved but I wasn't good enough
Another heart, another time
I just wish I could get it all back
You told me you would never hurt me like this
But you poison to my head
I'm one hand from falling from the edge
So don't take the last will I have to live
drop it all and let it just fade
I was so fucking happ...
Thursday 23rd September 2021 7:54 am
I told you I'd be there
I can't forgive myself if anything happens
I'd walk to hell and back
To make sure your head is okay
Your depression may be more than my word
My touch is more than it
So listen to me forever
I know you're your own worst enemy
So God damn it I'm not leaving you behind
I know the demons say
That you're better off not here
All the bleach bath,
...Thursday 16th September 2021 2:37 am
Everyone I know is happy with someone
I was born to run
Mother thank you for giving me
Another disaster the think about
The thought of dying alone is all I have left
All my friends have children and people to go home to
Jesus Christ you don't understand
I think I'm so unwanted,
All my ex lovers pick druggies over me
So I bury myself in my work
Just to try to esca...
Monday 13th September 2021 5:03 am
12 years
I've been working on this song for days
How could you use me like this
I got used to the abuse that you gave me
You don't have to tell me I'm a mess
I've been a mess since I was a child
I should stop falling in love with you
So tell me I'm a sad sack of shit
Tell me I'm worthless
Everyone knows that's the reason
I fell in love with you
You remind me of my mother
My brain tricked me ...
Friday 3rd September 2021 8:53 pm
Mercy
I am just an image of time
Lost in the shadows of my mind
Goodman does not have rules
I live my life by so many
I'm not the good guy in the story
I am not a villain ether
I am flawed with every step I make
From a life of abuse, I learned kindness
Humanity is a fleeting color
Death is always certain
My soul is old and I've walked these aisles for years
This life does not need love it...
Monday 9th August 2021 1:45 am
I Can't Understand
Can you run from me?
I was the devil
You was the sinner
Beckoning radiance of love
Please don't for get me?
I've seen light pour from your skin
Can I worship at your altar of delusions?
I'm only asking because I want to be
A creep that takes everything
Can I bargain with you
I'll keep you safe if you end me
I can't save myself
From the blood dripping down your vines
Is this ...
Wednesday 28th July 2021 4:33 pm
These Year Have Took a Toll
I used to be an artist, with poetry in motion I've fractured my soul and lost a part of my heart on this empty road. Now I'm an empty vessel quarantining memories that have already gone.
Slow decay, a buffet of memories that is already went away. Suffocate on dreams that's long forgotten fill the holes with the happy memories for the terminal illness of sadness will always remain
Wednesday 28th July 2021 7:38 am
No More
Something here’s gotten change
It's becoming a daily thing
Keep your hands to yourself
She doesn't want you
But play the victim with your friends
Go tell everyone your the nice guy
I'm sick of you and everyone like you
So shut the fuck up
When she says no it's just that
I hate guys like you
Begging for nudes
She said no but you keep doing it
I hate your type keep your eyes off...
Wednesday 30th June 2021 12:09 am
Ace
In a world full of sex
We just don't fit in so, please
Help me I don't want to lose you
I don't understand why
The floor is falling in
What the hell should I do?
The world doesn't get me
I'm so close to bleeding out
I have been keeping back the tears
I've been losing soulmates
Like sicking ships in July
So where do I start again
I don't want to hit the end
You need my to...
Thursday 24th June 2021 3:05 am
We All Wanna Die Sometimes
Can't do this anymore I'm ripping at the seams of reality
Trying to make a world that's not real anymore
Sick of being single and death knocking in 3'es
I'm sick of watching everyone be happy
As I'm just miserable I'm terrified to be left alone at home
Why has every woman I've loved left me
The mental scarring is all that's left
My mom taught me how to lie
My father taught me how to get ...
Thursday 10th June 2021 4:47 am
Restart
Let's restart everything become unbroken
Let's forget about the motives that drove us here
Who needs the memories
If we can have a moment of solitude
This is the moment you decided you are over your ex
SIx months and you almost killed yourself
You don't need this
Life starts now so don't think about it
Just keep moving on
This is the decision
This is the decision that writes the...
Tuesday 18th May 2021 4:51 pm
Control Has Been Lost
I think it's to let it go
So I've lost control again
Wish I could tell you that my soul was proper
I sold it along this dusty road
I saw godlessness in everyone
To cut a good kid without fear
The road to hell was built on good intentions
I only felt so alone without her love
With her, you can't be a good man
Without her, you can't be happy
So pick before the world blames you
I...
Friday 14th May 2021 5:57 pm
My Soul
What is going on now?
I've been drowning in my mind
Blood on my heart
I may die but that's fine
Anxieties catching up with me
Inhale exhale it's not helping this time
Please don't forget about me
From here on out I'll be just raggedy man
Looking for a place to call home
I miss when I could be more of myself
Back before grown-up responsibilities took over
My heart is overdosing on...
Monday 19th April 2021 3:14 am
Asexual
I told someone I was asexual
They asked how is that working out
All I could say is okay
The first time I had sex with a girl I hated it
Thought I was gay and found out I wasn't
I remember trying to be normal
I was laying in bed with a beautiful woman
Knowing that they want physical love
Me thinking to myself maybe she'll tell me to stop
So I won't have to go through this again
I d...
Wednesday 14th April 2021 5:04 pm
Product of Abuse ( It's a Song.)
Mother, you left me to the wolves
For the substances in your nose
I thought I was a light inside your eyes
How could you leave your child with an abuser
My innocence was ripped from my mind
Product of abuse
Don't cry your eyes out
Get on your feet
Run to father
Death is coming
Mother, you're toxic vile child
Hope you get cancer in your jaw
I want it to slowly eat you away
Now...
Monday 5th April 2021 1:36 am
Misrecollect
I've been writing a lot lately
Nothing's been coming out
So what's been fine since I've not been fine
I know you have a mountain that I can't climb
I've been trying to mine mine
Maybe if you could look through the lines
You could understand I'm not lying anymore
How long until Suffocation becomes a pill
I know I'm dramatic all the time
I'm mellowing out like a fine wine
I still can't ...
Monday 29th March 2021 12:57 am
I Bet
I bet you never truly forget about me
I bet you thought I would never get another job
I bet you look down on me
I don't understand you
You say that I'm a sad boy that will never grow up
If that's the case then call me when you're sober
Your attention little grabbing cheat
Baby I thought you said you love me forever aren't you full of shit
I bet you never truly forget about me
I bet y...
Wednesday 10th March 2021 1:51 pm
Pesticide
The devil pray for the light again
He was assumed by rage when it did not beckon
His fears dried up like dust the world crumbled around him
We found him bleeding upon his grace
Still, he was petrified from his actions
The man inside realized he was flawed
What a fate worse than death
Anxiety misled me with a doubt
The devil inside is killing us
So pray to Angels all you like
You forg...
Friday 5th March 2021 11:50 am
Breathing
I learned how to run before I could walk
Because I can breathe fine without you
It's hard to say but I am now happy
The feeling took forever but I can think clear
I know we've all had some pretty fucked up days
So just keep breathing and try to love yourself
If the sky is falling then you run chicken little
the whole world's going to keep moving
If you stand still it's going to leave you...
Thursday 4th March 2021 2:58 pm
Going Back Home
I'll be going back to Washington soon
I think it's time to go home
I've been gone for four years
I wonder how things have changed
Dad always tells me that the country's died since I left
That I'm lucky that my mom was born in Romania
My plan was to go back last year
It's time to face the things I can't face
Time to face the broken Healthcare System
I also have time to go see the mounta...
Monday 1st March 2021 11:24 am
She's Heaven
She's too good to be real
I'm an atheist
I believe in heaven because of her
She's Every cliché wrapped up in one
Perfection is jealous her
She makes my heart go boom pop by noon
She's an independent woman she didn't need no man
She's calling me baby and I'm in love with it
Perfection is jealous her
I won't need anyone else but her
I'll be in the kitchen cooking for her
When this pa...
Sunday 28th February 2021 10:48 am
The End
I'm ashamed of who I was
So fixated on a girl
God I hate that version of me
It took a lot of self-growth to admit I was wrong
I moved on and I'm better now
I heard a song and remind me of my awful ways
How being delusional is a hell of a drug
Let's have a drink for being single
Monday 22nd February 2021 4:18 am
Wonder Woman 1984 is a Good Movie.
Being an American nowadays is an embarrassment
I was born in this country and always been embarrassed
You hate education because it makes less Christians
Jesus would have been a middle eastern man
You would shoot him because you would call him a terrorist
When you're storming the Capitol Building because you're a snowflake
These domestic terrorists with AR-15s
Are the same man that supposed...
Monday 11th January 2021 3:55 am
When I Was Sick
As I slip into the acid of regret
My mind tries to drown away
But this melancholy cloud does not give
It shoved me into my pocket knife
It's not my upper thigh and it was stuck
So I cut a little bit further until the blade jiggle out
Has the blood came down
I realize I was unlovable but proud
Saturday 9th January 2021 1:52 am
The Day I'm Stuck On Repeat
As I'll slip into insanity
Like an a young spruce
My greedy actions made me lose the sun
Mt Wife found it on the shore of a beach
The last time I seen it I was tucking it in for bed
My wife found it bloody and cold
She was crying that we lost him we lost him
Like An earthquake its shattered my reality
Monday 4th January 2021 2:36 am
Mind Words
I have this Melancholy It's like chipped puzzle pieces
Don't tell me I'll will get over it I'm 26
With crippling issues that I can take care of
People tell me to forget about it
I got a heart full of heartache
Of abuse and suffering and I can't forget about it
The leaves are falling but the times don't change
Everyone has an answer to your problem they've never lived
Sunday 13th December 2020 3:55 pm
Words of The Waiting Man The END!
I hope you know
I don't hate you
I just feel sorry for you
All the mind games
You're going to die alone
Wolf in sheep clothing that is what you are
Everyone you've hurt is starting to see the wolf
For every action has made there's a concert
Thursday 3rd December 2020 6:14 am
Black Hair, Black Nails And A Lot of Teenage Angst
There's no rest for the wicked when I'm cradling death
I'm on the edge of self-harming again
This is a race to heaven then I'll surely come in last
Because I'm hell-born and I'm surely not going to lie
I damn the Holy Spirit and I surely not glad about it
I can't go into a church without bursting into laughter
So I'm hell looking for an angel to grab
Saturday 21st November 2020 2:38 am
My Last Words For The Year.
The contracts of what makes love
It's so not online it is so unnatural
Force it on to someone
When being accepted is far from easy
Love is difficult to actually learn how to
When you get it it's easy to master
It is the broken stairs to repurpose
The flaws in your head that make you wonder
We always sell broken or did it happen over time
Authentic love is a true expression
Wednesday 18th November 2020 9:45 pm
Paralyzed
I'm paralyzed by the lights
I'm slowly slumbering into lights
I tried to march to my own beat
I'm ashamed of what I've become
Monday 16th November 2020 2:01 am
You Can Blame It All On Me
Can you tell me how far it goes
I'm just trying to keep myself alive
I lost myself in your eyes
This crippling depression has taken over again
So blame me for all your worries
I'll never be anything more than a regret
Did you understand this today
I want to pass away in my sleep
Please understand I fucking want to stop
God I hate myself so much
The pain never goes away
Don't tell me ...
Saturday 7th November 2020 2:57 am
Imaginary Friends
Been running from my responsibility
Everything got dark and I lost my vision of myself
The antidote was always in my fingertip
Nothing makes me sober than the past
I won't be a culture vulture of punk
I won't tell a man that he can't wear a dress
I will burn all the institutions that this culture made
I was the kid that got beat up by the punks
Because I was too sad for them
The go...
Monday 26th October 2020 1:01 am
Mother
I think I truly hate Halloween
It was the last day I saw my mother
She packed her bags and left
I have a couple of issues that I'll never fix
I'll keep Nirvana Rape Me on replay
Mentally, sexually and physically abused
So tonight I ask why do I miss her
After a head full of trauma
Sometimes I wish I could be fixed
The wound that she left has never healed
I still have broken ribs and...
Saturday 24th October 2020 2:11 am
Anti-depression
God is falling into insanity
The anti-depression medicine
Is screaming for attention
The paranoia is all I know
I"m looking for something more
My thighs were made for scars
Suicidal thoughts have me thinking
That cutting myself is my savior from them
Please don't let me fall into the thoughts
Holy paper burning away from me
The demons are heavier than you think
God is falling i...
Thursday 22nd October 2020 9:06 pm
Corpses In My Bed
I'm on a bottle of anti-depression
Have a couple of people
That is crashing on me
I look in a mirror but I only see ugly
So why do they want me?
I spent almost a whole year
Reflecting on my bad Behavior
Trying to apologize for it
Pushing people out
I can't even do that right
I hate that people ask to see my face more
If you saw it, it would only call it ugly
So why show it to t...
Wednesday 21st October 2020 4:04 am
Puppets
You're all addicted to social media
Share your memes and your stupid quotes
We're all depressed but no one wants to talk about it
So take the mask off you're the problem with yourself
Don't tell the world how you truly feel
Burn your existence and leave your soul
We're all puppets for corporations
Why we stay poor and in debt
Only you can free yourself
You stay in you're boring cycl...
Thursday 15th October 2020 4:41 am
Cry Baby
I can't do this anymore
I've been watching everyone I love
Being abused by their heads
I can't take it anymore
I'm the cry baby
The emotional wreck
The black sheep of the family
I'm the cry baby
So put down the drugs
It's not helping anymore
I won't let my worries kill me
I'm anxious again wanting to cry
Oh I'm a cry baby now
I'm the cry baby
With a face full of make ...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 7:12 am
A Kingdom On The Moon Lyrics
Look inside the moon
Can you tell that its vitals are fine
It's been a while since it's been a while since
I could hold my head up fine
Don't hate my ways
It's under the skin now
Could you forget my name
I've seen the godless goddess
Hold your head to the sun
We're all non-believers now
I've been forgetting the lights
Under the mountain of shit, you said
Broken bottles in her...
Monday 5th October 2020 3:16 am
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