Husband, father, brother, son.

Just for another day. 

Another day you'd see the sun, 

shining bright through clouds. 

Today the day was nice.

Only that you weren't there. 

Will be more such days, 

but you will never see the sky again. 

Now there is silent, suffocating heat. 

In the heart cold darkness lays.

As cold as metal shue shelf, 

which you were hanging from....

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You give money to homeless, 

your soul is moved by sad and poor, 

waiting for a bit of kindness

you peek through the cracks of sore,

that unkind words have caused before. 

Language you use is warm and respectful, 

never rude and never untrue.

Like you would realize each carries a burden,

that becomes lighter when talking to you. 

Your gentle hands slip through my body, 

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How could I describe your eyes?

Big, round with long black lashes, 

so warm, brown and lovely, 

I can't get them off my mind. 

One look at them and I feel safe, 

eyes easy to remember. 

I travelled many different ways, 

but no such I have seen out there.  

Many people know old saying:

"Eyes are the mirrior of the soul." 

In that case the soul like yours 

...

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My head full of memories

questions this odd world.

Sharp thoughts of my past lives

could cut the air infront. 

Faces of the people

I used to hug and kiss,

seem like an old movie 

which doesn't yet exist.

My future - dark and empty 

- is waving back at me,

I touch around for face

and only find a dying bee.

In the darkness lonely

it whispers in my ear:

"why ...

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I see myself in the mirror, 

staring back at me my eyes, 

nose, mouth, nicely shaped 

face. 

Pleased with the picture.

Young, beautiful, I wink and think: 

what a hot mess

behind the fasade. 

Someone once will want me.

Will it be for my face or for me?

With every wrinkle,

more distant lover. 

With every word I say, 

less love. 

The only person 

loving M...

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I will go on with my life, 

like I would never know you. 

Like I did before we met,

when I didn't know you. 

I was careless, I was free, 

not realizing round the corner, 

something is waiting for me. 

There was you. There were nice things. 

Now it is over and I go on, 

looking for a new corner to come. By. 

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What is this empty feeling again inside me? 

Ahh...it's you again. 

Yes, you come to mind from time to time. 

At that time in the past...I could swore I don't but...

now every new thought makes me doubt. 

Is it possible I really loved you? 

Naaaah but I knew this could never work.

The past me is more clever than present me. 

Or not. 

I wish I could skip these 10 years. 

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You still mention me in conversations,

just like you would have the right to judge me.

I did not set all my sides free, honey,

your knowledge is exactly as I wanted it to be. 

One day bothered you my questions, 

should I just stared at the wall when with you? 

Another time you didn't like how I treat others, 

what real harm did I actually do? 

The other day you th...

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Here I am losing, 

again. 

The moment I naively denied, 

came. 

You said you don't want to see, 

more of me.

The words you typed, 

should set me free. 

I only feel deep pain. 

Should have known...

before. 

But I didn't see, 

just adore. 

Wasn't able to recognize, 

how fucked up you really are.

Memoring is the worst, 

when did we get this fa...

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I think about it all the time...

the sweet temptation,

manipulation! - 

wrapping my thoughts around the mind

I am wondering

How many books I need to read?

How many courses yet take...!?

to hold the leash...

- control the bitch!

She is a mess, she is wild...

I gasp from her ideas saying:

Oh, no you didn't...

- she is destructive!

But God! I...

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Yes, I am guilty!

Guilty of possesivness...exactly like you said! 

Of being too loud and not collected...

I didn't figure it out yet!

I am thinking long enough...about this song.

Want to make it  proud and fierce,

but only sadness comes along. 

Gosh! You two have no idea,

how many times I cried, felt like a doormat!

My memory was showing pictuers,

of your lovely, litt...

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One love replaces another.

That's how things work, you claim. 

And the: "It will never get better.",

is a line, which should be banned. 

You draw every day like a painter. 

You draw smiles on sad people's faces. 

In our hearts we call you 'dear'.

I'd go with you anywhere!

You've moved me! 

I love that logic of yours.

Admire your eager and happy mind! 

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I live in a world that often surprise me.

Where you have to stand on your own if you wanna survive, 

where emotions are a bad thing and someone who plays with them is categorized as 'the funniest person alive', (and it's your fault anyway cause on scale of -627-0 you feel five) 

where the highest value is to get laid before you at home hug your wife,

and where dogs are appreciated more...

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On the other side of you is me.

Then on my left and on your right is her.

Tight with strings that pull us closer, 

deadly three. 

If you touch her, I die.

If I touch her, you die. 

Unable to admit ourselves, 

situation makes us lie. 

Telling everyone: 'I am fine.' 

only to keep my friends with me. 

So I am just smiling...

and drinking poisoned wine.

It contains ...

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Sometimes I want to wake up in someone else's skin. 

To see how differnetly smells the world in other bodies,

...or is the feeling just the same? 

Maybe you do feel like me. Better? Maybe worse? 

I wonder how is it like to be her. Him. Everyone. 

The feeling that will never be known for me...but one thing is for sure.

Death comes for all of us! 

So why wasting time across the ...

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My heart is strong as steel. 

Although it shivers and I cry.

It should've stopped at birth,

but it refused to die. 

Love made a hole into it,

but now it's looking differently on you!

Do you really think survival of three surgeries

can't survive a flu?

It watches people leave,...

realizing everybody goes away...

But it blindly trusts and puts a new heartbeat

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I'd give anything to turn back time...

I'd do anything to change your mind...

I'd say anything to make you stay...

I struggle with those sad feelings all day. 

'You remember when...?' That's how my depression starts. 

Need to stop remembering. 

I feel like I'll never be happy again. As long as memories excist. 

Love hurts. Dot. Pain pain pain. 'Oh I think I might be ok.' ...

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How my first year of college feels like? 

It's a big bag of junk. Mostly junk. In the bag are also some things I know and like. Old friends, old jokes, old sympathy strike. 

Mixed together I have to take the pieces out. One by one. On daily light. No idea what I'll get. But somehow...I have to make sense out of that. 

Don't ask me why...don't ask me how. I feel like nothing I've experienc...

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I can't act like I don't CARE,

MISS or FEEL. 

Don't think I am weak because of it. 

And not ashamed. 

I just do. I do miss you. 

And even if I don't wish to kiss you anymore, 

sleep with you and cry beside you...

And even if I am saying I am over....

I do miss you as a friend...

...behind your back is where I stand. 

You told me: 

once I am done, I am done forever.

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Small, bright sparkles on the sky,

number of distance way too high.

Too long to reach, too hard to find,

their lonely souls and loving mind.

The only leaf on river floats, 

his sorrow speaks some quiet notes.

If you would listen carefully...

the wind will sing, leaf miss the tree. 

This little proofs of solitude,

can perfectly describe my mood. 

I'm not a st...

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No general, no goverment,

no any God or Normality

can not take control over me

I am the Free Catastrophe. 

No one tells me what to do, 

maybe I am under all standards 

but any teachers, preachers or manners

won't stuff in my head unanswered answers! 

I don't take shit from anyone anymore 

I don't bend my knee 

I don't care if they like me or not

only one thing coun...

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I am pondering on you

we are in bed in your dark bedroom.

That's the thing I like to do

cause I just can't stop loving you.

Your fragrant smell makes me feel safe.

Your voice calms me down for days.

Your warm body keeps me close.

You are my best ever-heard noise.

But in this dark, secretive night

a hunch is running through my mind.

How long friendship like t...

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You only see yourself

like there is no one else!

How fair this seems to you?

There's nothing I can do.

Do you realize you have the power to hurt me?

Do you realize the mood I am in at the end of the day depens on you?

There is no such pain as missing somebody.

You know this kind of pain,

you feel it too. 

Something is a joke to you

but deep down it smarts.

Not a mi...

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I was lying next to you,

wanted to hug you, couldn't do. 

Thinking about all our past,

wondering what future has. 

You were moody, did not like,

we have to lie this close all night. 

Besides your Crush slept on the bed

and I was your cock-blocking thread. 

Nothing but nights of this kind,

made me realize love is blind. 

Emotions dance a devil's jive,

Bitch tries to...

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The Girl who will never care!
But it is tempting cause it's rare. 
She could be sweet, rough or adoring,
but for sure she can't be boring.
Her body is hot and you are caught
in Her smile, in Her style.
She is everything you're not,
with Her stands comma, where should dot.  
Love is a game and there is no rules,
but be aware of molecules. 
They can fuck up things a bit,
the Girl can also...

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