I had one of those dreams again, the ones where we were just friends. You had no idea you were my every heartbeat.
 

We were on a trip somewhere, back in high school or something. You had a crush on the foreign exchange student I was rooming with. I was barely tolerating her. You invited us to hang out though, and I couldn't deny any second spent near you. We stayed late in your room listening...

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To expunge them from my mind

That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing

I'm at war with my thoughts and memories

Old wounds echoing in the present

Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago

A different face, a different name

An altogether different entity and demeanor

But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...

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This is how messed up it was...

Last night, my husband woke up and was cuddling me, then touching me, then we both were wide awake in intimacy. It was beautiful. It always is.

Then after, the doubt creeped in.

Chris lied. Chris always lied. I would wake up in the middle of the night to him touching himself to pictures on the internet. Once I woke up and he was staring at pictures of a wom...

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I loved you like I loved storms. I was fascinated by every strike of lightning and each gust of wind, the sheer power of it, the wind I mistook for passion and the ferocity I believed was simply something to pass with the movement of clouds.
Little did I know the damage caused to my being every second I caught myself standing in its wake.

I loved you far more than you deserved. I loved you a...

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I remember the fire in his eyes, burning red and hot like the devil's. Sometimes it was just a flicker, a blink, and a temporary fade when we were out in public. Other times it lit and caught and consumed his entire person and mine as well. I melted under the heat of those flames. It melted my strength, my dignity, everything I stood for. It made me feel weak. It burnt me, enough to carry those sa...

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You are the sum of every silly love song. Every sweet melody. Your laugh is the soundtrack of my every daydream. Your voice is the lullaby that sings me to sleep every night, whether your head rests on the pillow beside mine or not. Your kisses pump the blood through my veins and give me strength when I'm feeling my weakest.
You play, I sing. We complete each other in all of the better ways. Anyo...

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I fell in love with the sound of your beating heart
With your slow, sweet kisses
I fell in love with your smile and the way my entire world is brighter in its presence
I fell in love with the way your hair curls behind your ears and the way your eyes sparkle when they're set on me
I fell in love with your words and the meaning and care behind each one
I fell in love with your mind and the con...

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Your fingers strummed the strings of your guitar in a lazy, sleepy pattern as my consciousness began to drift
I inched as close to you as possible, molding my bones to yours as I seamlessly carved for myself a place at your side
Space was a silly idea, a concept at that moment we would never need to consider, should never consider
You played on as we laid together, my chest rising and falling a...

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