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Panama a love story. Late 1982.

Panama Love a short story.

 

The Panama canal is about 51 miles long. Constructed to save the hazardous and longer trip around the infamous Cape Horn. Its an engineering wonder! Made by man to connect the Atlantic sea with the Pacific Ocean it was started by the French in the eighteen hundreds who gave up because of the death rate among workers, which was in the hundreds, it was finished by ...

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Ah' Chris mate. 8th June 1982.Ah' Chris mate. 8th June 1982.

Preamble.... Im reposting this in memory of my mate. From time ago. Young men who thought war was something to do with excitement and proud times. I'd tell you there are now more veterans of the Falklands war have killed themselves then died in the war. 

 

 

Ah’ Chris mate,

What a fate,

We’d laughed 

and cavorted

Before the fun.

I’d had sex

In Pompey

And lots of rum.

...

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🌷(4)

war poetry. memoryhuman loss. freindship.

The nameless.

Don’t name them

Too many names

No names

Names can

Be missed

Your name

Their name

So no names

No religion

All faiths die

No colour

Whats colour

No country

No wealth

It doesn’t

Matter

No language

No measure

of intelligence

All tongues

Are stilled

For lifes

Accounting

 

You

Child with

Leukaemia

You are beautiful

You c...

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🌷(7)

Soul?

The history of 

Organised religions

Has never passed rent free

Its stressed in carven stone

Lost in craven moan

Soulless seeking souls

Reaching for a missing heaven

Misfits of recognition

Blighting of long tradition

Give them back their freedom.

Until its passed its kingdom 

To face a faithless fate

Is not to miss the gate

For those that see the strife

Can...

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🌷(1)

Take the ugly things.

Take the ugly things

The twisted forlorn

Fallow empty cold

Ugly things.

The despised, feral

rancid vapid tepid

Broken things.

The ambitions

the contradictions.

that bastardise

humanity and 

kick human frailty.

Into damaged things.

To progress on

Imagined ladder

built on the rotten

Wood of greed.

Greed ugly creed.

For recognition

and blind am...

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🌷(4)

Cut the applause

And stop the fight.

Not everyone

Can see the light.

Its the darkest

Depths of night.

Look out  the 

Broken window

Mummy.

Everything

Sure looks funny.

Its all lost.

Its not on the money.

See my heart

Broken on a shard.

Cut To ribbons

On a knife

Made of velvet.

I can’t stop bleeding

From eyes

That don’t see.

Don’t think

...

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🌷(3)

24 hours of love Gas Town Vancouver.

Ive often wandered if I’ve kissed

The serial killer in our midst.

I was on a bit of a sailing manoeuvre 

Across in rainy dank Vancouver

 

Her name was Mona,

Mona Bird 

Yes lemon curds the rhymah.

And her mothers name was Mynah.

 

Occasionally worried about the strife 

Cause she always carried a knife

Met her in a club in Gas-town

Vancouver city 

The Orange...

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🌷(2)

Manic Depression

I suffer from manic depression.

Sometimes slow turning.

Sometimes obsession.

Thats a quick slow lesson.

In less obvious passion.

In which I fashion

A life of ridiculous…ness.

Quite a mess

But sometimes 

Great success.

But “they” decided

To medicate success 

from my life.

That they labeled strife.

 

So they gave me lithium

And I didn’t like 

Feelin...

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🌷(5)

The Rock

Flaming heads to muddled waters

Put them through to general quarters

The thoughts fly free

Giving truth the lee.

 

Lost minds unravel

As routes less travel

To places long ago

Places free to go.

 

Locked in patterns

Given to waste

When will we stop

Burning our world.

 

See this world

In complexity?

Try to see

The absurdity.

 

Sisyphus roll...

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The Anti Shanty

Take yer shanties and shove em.

Take yer white foam flying.

Take yer fair winds blowing.

Take yer furrows following fucking freely.

And shove em.

 

Yer songs about masts and sails

and rolling, rollicking singing and fun in gail’s.

Phoney fallacious frigging fantasy folklore.

Unreal figures dancing and prancing.

Shove em. 

 

The truth is filth and fury

lacking...

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🌷(6)

Son

Son

Sun

Love

Sweet love

Lost

Pain deep 

Mind 

Heart

Torn asunder

Wonder

Deeper than

Deepest darkness

Son

Sun

Love

Pained behest

Unblessed

Godless

Lossless gone

To cosmos

Spiritual

Ancestral 

No future 

To gain

Within pain.

Son

Sun 

Love.

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🌷(2)

Struggling through

The weeds

Feet dragging

in sand

Sun glaring

Blinding

With its

Promise

Of warmth

Trying to

Reach water

For the cool

Balm

She washed cum 

From the 

Palm of her hand

In a bowl of

Holy water

Etched a cross 

In the dirt on

The back of her

Hand

With the same

purity

Feet cut on 

hidden glass

Pockets picked

...

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🌷(3)

Tears

Falling down assisted by

9.2 meters per second.

Tears heading downward cried.

Spots on the face beckon.

Falling feathers for the face.

 

Salted rivulets embrace

Nooks and crannies of the face.

Cascading at a steady pace

Familiar to the human race.

Tears born in scary place.

 

Is there anyone who never cried

Oops I just espied

over there they told a lie.

...

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🌷(3)

The bookshop

Walking on squeaky floorboards

Occupying space

Previously walked

At a nurtured pace.

 

How much time

Have people taken

To scan the walls

And see the books?

 

The smell of written beauty

In a time of pixels

Smell the pages

Of history.

 

Looking through

Piles of literary minds

Looking for that goldmine.

That transports and enthrals. 

 

That...

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🌷(4)

Absurd

They twisted in space

Coiled like two serpents.

Hero’s and monsters

Set me free.

Set me on the road

To be.

Sometimes prison

Sometimes sky.

Limitless in

Learning and

desolate in remembering.

There needs to be

A place to flee.

A space of acclamation.

But all I find 

In my star crossed mind

Is reduction

To destruction.

Its the world that

Twists...

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🌷(2)

Dublin 2000

I took a trip to the wildest place

Where no one could deceive me.

 

It was a place nearer hell

I know you won’t believe me.

 

The walls shone so bright

Only the skirl could make me free.

 

So I sold my soul with greatest ease

So I should never have to see.

 

And we danced once again.

To the sound of the pipes of Dublin.

 

To the sound of the pipes of Du...

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🌷(3)

Your seven

Walking hand in hand

Your seven.

Wide eyes.

Big world.

Small warm hand

Reaches for and

Buries in my paw.

Mans hand, callouses and oil.

But still fists full of love.

Protection and love.

We kick leaves.

High

Golds and reds.

Asphalt coated

In browns and beauty.

The leaves fly up

Whirl and flow

Swirling

Unplanned patterns.

Stick to our shoes

...

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Soul (less)

The history of 

Organised religions

Has never passed rent free

Its stressed in carven stone

Lost in craven moan

Soulless seeking souls

Reaching for a missing heaven

Misfits of recognition

Blighting of long tradition

Give them back their freedom.

Until its passed its kingdom 

To face a faithless fate

Is not to miss the gate

For those that see the strife

Can...

Read and leave comments (1)

🌷(3)

Chemo Pharmacopeia

Neutropenic, neutropenia,

White blood cells,

Haven't seen ya,

Smorgasbord analgesia,

Flowing chemicals,

Splitting cellular. 

Morphine drips,

Dripping calm for yer.

Picolax its the max,

Movicol movements,

Helping derrière.

Got your Nabilone,

Keeps your vomit home.

Sleep all day,

Pain free day?

We’ve got it here for yer.

Stop the trolley, 

Its not t...

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🌷(3)

Surfing the sky

Surfing in a deep blue sky

Painted pictures line the eye.

Limitless movement

Endless improvement.

Looking up to an empty sky

See a lonely rainbow fly.

And after dark 

Like a million sparks

The stars wink like beating hearts

Pumping celestial blood

To starving parts.

And when I look 

And see those stars

I’ll always wander 

If your there

Dancing on stars

...

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🌷(2)

Dance

The thief of life stole furtively onto the dance floor. 

And danced his dance of death.

Which became a dance of life.

A vast ballroom full of balls.

Spinning and backdrops showing the soul.

fearlessly stacked on high kicking legs.

Singing blossoming ballads of beauty.

The fight back shouts choruses of courage.

And sambas of selfless serenity.

Mohamed and Jesus pogoed for...

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🌷(1)

Cancer

My heart is crying

Look at the tears 

Look at the fears

If tears were ears

We’d hear the world

The world weeping

For the pain of lost youth

 

We can build a bomb

But we cant build a cure.

 

If tears were eyes

We’d see them all

All the brave young hearts

Fighting to beat

Beating to fight 

On fragile feet

The one step flight

Two step dance

Sur...

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🌷(5)

Days

This was a Dylan day

Full of romance and

Mysticism

I sang along

With blood in my eyes

And wandered at

The women I have 

Loved

And would we still

Be together

If I was Bob Dylan

And was

Forever young. 

 

But tomorrow will be

A day of anger

And hate

And I’ll sit in my car

And shout

Punk

Rancid songs 

Out loud

At pedestrians

And driv...

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Freedom of the mind.

Flaming heads to muddled waters

Put them through to general quarters

The thoughts fly free

Giving truth the lee.

 

Lost minds unravel

As routes less travel

To places long ago

Places free to go.

 

Locked in patterns

Given to waste

When will we stop

Burning our world.

 

See this world

In complexity?

Try to see

The absurdity.

 

Sisyphus roll...

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🌷(1)

Spring

The sad eyes of winter

Turned slowly

To the doe eyed

Glances of spring

 

Birds sing

Vibrant song

And flutter

Newly freed wings.

 

The light creeps

Quietly, early.

And brightens

Another new morning.

 

The step lightens

With steady pace.

Its good sometimes

To be in the human race.

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🌷(4)

The Anti Shanty 2016

Take yer shanties and shove em.

Take yer white foam flying.

Take yer fair winds blowing.

Take yer furrows following fucking freely.

And shove em.

 

Yer songs about masts and sails

and rolling, rollicking singing and fun in gail’s.

Phoney fallacious frigging fantasy folklore.

Unreal figures dancing and prancing.

Shove em. 

 

The truth is filth and fury

lacking...

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🌷(1)

Vancouver 24 hour of love 1980

Ive often wandered if I’ve kissed

The serial killer in our midst.

I was on a bit of a sailing manoeuvre 

Across in rainy dank Vancouver

 

Her name was Mona,

Mona Bird 

Yes lemon curds the rhymah.

And her mothers name was Mynah.

 

Occasionally worried about the strife 

Cause she always carried a knife

Met her in a club in Gas-town

Vancouver city 

The Orange...

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Scream me a proverb

Punch me a portrait

Kick me a scream

Throw me a lifeline

Pain me a dream

 

Breath me a mouthful

Exhale me a dot

Kill me twice over

Send me to rot

 

Hold my head under

Bleed me from eyes

Chop out my liver

Cover me in lies

 

Walk on beside me

While I feel myself run

Pour me your whiskey

From the mouth of a gun

 

Dig me up twice

Bury me a...

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🌷(6)

My Son my sun

The cool clear beauty

that is your face to me.

The seeing of you 

that made me feel free.

 

Your calm and kind smile

gentleness by the mile.

The strength of your mind

That made you so kind.

 

Your flyaway words

soaring like birds.

Swooping and gliding

wisdom abiding.

 

Your generosity of spirit

your kindness of soul.

Your limitless friendship

t...

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Slice of heaven Sydney 1987

In a slice of Eastern heaven

in nineteen eighty seven.

I sat on twenty million dollars,

worth of paint

 

From on the Island.

Kowloon, Hong Kong.

Where poor people 

see rich people stroll along.

 

My mate the bosun

Ng and I were close uns 

We rolled together

In all the weather

 

Shipmates through and through.

I’m the officer and he’s the crew.

We k...

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🌷(3)

Spring

The sad eyes of winter

Turned slowly

To the doe eyed

Glances of spring

 

Birds sing

Vibrant song

And flutter

Newly freed wings.

 

The light creeps

Quietly, early.

And brightens

Another new morning.

 

The step lightens

With steady pace.

Its good sometimes

To be in the human race.

 

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🌷(2)

Survival

Still still still day.

Still today.

Stiller then yesterday.

Yesterday was still.

Today is still stiller still.
Don't move, don't stir.
Just be still.
Just be there.

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🌷(1)

New York 1979

Twenty years old

By six days

 

New boss on the line

I’m very cocky feeling fine.

“Have you travelled”…

“Of course I’ve travelled,

Ive been to Bridlington”.

“Good then New York

will be a doddle

for such a sophisticate”.

I say I can’t wait

But I feel like somethings bait.

 

Joining first big ship

Making such a primary trip

Making first flight

Eye’s ...

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🌷(4)

Mr Fate

I’m sad, Mr Fate is

No longer my mate

The back of my head

Sees red mist 

And a wall

With a picture 

Screaming in its

Asylum

Grey fat 

Splat

Drips and slides

Wars late

Homicide

Hallucination

Suicide

Impulse is fun

But to be

Avoided. 

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Duality

When I dance in my minds eye with angels.

And fear being deserted and alone.

I saw the old woman in the church yard 

saying another goodbye at the same stone

painting another farewell scene of ancient love.

And I don’t fear that which lies beneath the grass

deep in soil and farewell clothes 

and trinkets of memories sent on a journey

of hopeless hopes and boundless groundle...

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🌷(1)

Cancer

When you have cancer

The world becomes smaller.

The world becomes hospitals.

Chemicals and Nabilone.

Hope and dreams to confess.

Free for you from the NHS.

So the world is smaller

Yet its also bigger.

Because the fight that you make

Is the same all over the world.

Unless its America.

Dollars mean care.

We get it for free.

Because some one made an NHS dare.

...

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🌷(2)

Heart on fire

The flames licked eagerly at my heart

How long had we been apart?

It seemed a lifetime now

But truth bends in sad dismay.

 

I try to stare into infinity

But see just tomorrow before me.

Its all too late my psyche states

Its all gone its all to late.

 

My embalmed mind kisses

All that it misses and misses.

Florid in obscurity

Searching for that purity.

 

...

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Recruitment Office 1979

I don’t know 

How about that

I think you are

A bit of a twat

Ive lived a life

Ive lost some words

Grandma cooked

Lemon curds

She’d been bombed

Id been conned

Into the same

No one to blame

Oh wait

Yes there is

Her lemon curds

And mince pies

Meant more then

Their lies

That she learnt

In a blackout

I didn’t learn

In an office

With a sh...

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Grandad 1930

Granddad

Grand lad

Blanket row

to

East Yorkshire

Regiment

Battle garland

“Oppy wood”

18 yrs old

Covered in mud

Killing and dying

Mired in blood

Lived to

Be broken

Lived to be token

Of the man who

Left grandma’s house.

 

Became fist fighter

Became bare knuckle

Fighter

Champion

Drunkard

Champion of 

Old Hull

With his 

nake...

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🌷(2)

Shame

Men women and children

Pushed behind a wall

A barbed wire fence

Starved of sustenance

Limited health care

Slow education

No job opportunities

Daily fear of death

Racial hatred

The constant anger 

And fear of the gun

Made to live in squaller

Hopeless children

No place to call home

Summary execution

Crammed together

No hope no future

Soldiers always...

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🌷(2)

Butlins Filey 1960 something.

The shed smells of shit

 

Its not a shed its a chalet

Its boxed happiness

Its freedom

From desolation

Its a summery

Destination

With a swimming pool

 

Full of polio

 

Cold shivering 

skinny kid

 

Its the place

We leap

Like national sheep

Laughing in unison

Drunken fornication

Shimmering castigation

We were all happy

Happy happy happ...

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🌷(2)

Ah' Chris mate. 8th June 1982.

Ah’ Chris mate,

What a fate,

We’d laughed 

and cavorted

Before the fun.

I’d had sex

In Pompey

And lots of rum.

It’d take a lot

To make us run.

You in your engine room

Me in mine.

All seemed well

All seemed fine.

Your ship

Was knightly

Mine was grey

As we both looked

Out on that misty day.

We’d just spoken

Just said g’day.

From hundreds...

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🌷(2)

When the bough breaks

When the bough breaks

And falls to the fathomless earth

When the ground shakes

And it feels like rebirth

 

Do we look to the skies

With tear stained eyes

Or swallow the bread

And bury our dead.

 

Is life the only slot

To protect from this blinding spot

Or are we energy

To fly back to the heavens.

 

There’s no answer

Only faith to relive

The only a...

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1982

Dressed as a pauper.

looks like a thief.

Pushing the boundaries 

Of your disbelief.

The raggedy man

in raggedy pants.

Arguing loudly

incoherent rants.

Stares covered in shame

Thinking of different

things to blame.

Don’t talk to him

he’s only a tramp.

Stay away from

his miserable stance.

Heap your scorn

on his shambling form.

Never minding why

h...

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🌷(2)

No title.

We looked at the fear

And asked its name.

But how could you bloody tell

When alls on to hell.

 

I looked out the window

And it looked back

All my belongings in a sack

I really couldn’t tell

 

A hessian bag filled with shit

I marched to the pipes

And lost her name

I knew it wasn’t quite a game

 

But how could I fucking tell

We all can go to hell.

M...

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Valparaiso around Cape Horn 1985.

Bob Dylan 

Guided people to their places

In the cemetery

Wearing a top hat

We were gone

Going

To Valparaiso

The Horn was sick and busy

I vomited my breakfast.

Pinochet welcomed us

With hands held out.

Marlborough and whiskey and 

Threats with burp guns.

Dont mention Victor…

Don’t mention the Stadium de Santiago.

Don’t mention Pinochet

Dragging mind i...

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🌷(1)

Tonight

What was tonight?

Whiskey and water.

Beer,

Arguments surreptitiously

Heard.

“My husbands a cunt.

But I stay with him.

He fucked the next door neighbour!

I told that bitch and she left.”

Cigarette passes between lips.

Smoke inhaled.

Scared of the night.

Afraid to leave, 

Afraid to stay.

Lost in a miasma

Of friendship, love and fear.

Strangers awash in...

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🌷(4)

New York two 1980

Leaving the noise of yellow cabs

Touting for business

In poisonous fume filled ghetto

Egyptian American driver

“Here”

But not here

They say and stare

“Not here. Idiot”.

“Not here man”.

 

Stumbling life blind 

Through the mists

And through the twists

And breathing the stinking air

Fetid furious oxygen theft 

Buildings covered in art

1980 New York. 

...

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🌷(2)

Jack Dempsy's bar New York 1983

Oh god. Oh Dear.

A hangover in New York New York.

Small recollections through

hazes of alcohol pulsed pain.

Shaking fingers fumbling 

for coffee and cigarette.

In a dark wood cased  cabin

from sweat stinking bunk.

A million other people

who jerked through the same dance

Night before around the world.

I stepped in time with you.

 

On subways that fled past

...

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🌷(2)

White light

When the bough breaks

And falls to the fathomless earth

When the ground shakes

And it feels like rebirth

 

Do we look to the skies

With tear stained eyes

Or swallow the bread

And bury our dead.

 

Is life the only slot

To protect from this blinding spot

Or are we energy

To fly back to the heavens.

 

There’s no answer

Only faith to relive

The only a...

Read and leave comments (0)

🌷(1)

I wrote this selection of Haiku after losing my son of 18yrs to teen cancer. 

 

Tears flow face feathers

Wrapping the world in wet wings

Cradling hearts broken .

 

…………………………………..

 

Emptiness vacuum

Space floating in space floating

Stars shining for love.

 

…………………………………..

 

Smiling beautiful

Peaceful tranquility there

Rest now your heartsfists. 

...

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🌷(1)

Homage to Shane

I saw a pot of gold

Sitting slumped by the road

He was beautiful and broken.

And shone with alabaster

Broken teeth and shame.

His words were gold.

 

He was rotting

In his prison

But still glowed 

With all thats great.

Of the greatest of hungers.

 

He was Behan

He was Mangan

He was unshaven.

He flowed with a love

That only he could see

With fidd...

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🌷(1)

Shane Macgowan

Life and death the only real question.

I am the undying

Forever flying

Lost in a dream of death.

 

The cigarette dances upon my lips

At four of the morning time

A time for mourning mime.

 

There is no sleep for the lost

I feel it deeply to my cost

Just to feel death so close.

 

The rope in my closet calls to me

All could be over all could be free

But it just won’t be.

 

I dream awake of n...

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Bach

I saw a barque

And it was painted in Rome

Where it called home

What a lark a baroque barque

The baroque barque was made 

from trees stripped stark of covering bark

And as the shipwrights stripped

They made great wooden attack

To the haunting tunes of Sebastian Bach

What a lark to make a baroque barque 

stripped of bark listening to Bach

A lofty matter when composin...

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🌷(1)

Ugly

Take the ugly things

The twisted forlorn

Fallow empty cold

Ugly things.

The despised, feral

rancid vapid tepid

Broken things.

The ambitions

the contradictions.

that bastardise

humanity and 

kick human frailty.

Into damaged things.

To progress on

Imagined ladder

built on the rotten

Wood of greed.

Greed ugly creed.

For recognition

and blind am...

Read and leave comments (0)

🌷(1)

Son

Son

Sun

Love

Sweet love

Lost
Pain deep
Mind
Heart
Torn asunder
Wonder
Deeper than
Deepest darkness
Son
Sun
Love
Pained behest
Unblessed
Godless
Lossless gone
To cosmos
Spiritual
Ancestral
No future
To gain
Within pain.
Son
Sun
Love.

Read and leave comments (0)

Panama Love

Panama Love a short story.

 

The Panama canal is about 51 miles long. Constructed to save the hazardous and longer trip around the infamous Cape Horn. Its an engineering wonder! Made by man to connect the Atlantic sea with the Pacific Ocean it was started by the French in the eighteen hundreds who gave up because of the death rate among workers, it was finished by the Americans in the early ...

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🌷(2)

The Oxygen thief

Look its 

Me

Please look

See

Me

I’m here so 

You can see

Me

I’m loud 

And here

Near

See me

And hear me

And see me

Its why

I’m me

Why I’m 

Here

See me

Be there and look

At me

Hear me with

All your 

Ears

And soul

Give me it

All

All your belief

All your relief

Its me

Here

The oxygen

Thief.

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🌷(6)

selfishness

Soul?

The history of 

Organised religions

Has never passed rent free

Its stressed in carven stone

Lost in craven moan

Soulless seeking souls

Reaching for a missing heaven

Misfits of recognition

Blighting of long tradition

Give them back their freedom.

Until its passed its kingdom 

To face a faithless fate

Is not to miss the gate

For those that see the strife

Can...

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Light

I'm awake 

I'm white

Bright white

Light

Glowing
Growing
Freedom flowing
And I feel me
Conscious free
I fly
To the sky
To the stars
Another
Light
Pure good
Energy
Comes to meet
Flowing and free
Bright
The other light
Touches me
Warms me
And I feel
In my energy
“What took you so long dad”?
I feel a smile
And energy combined
In warm
Pure love
We floated free
To g...

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Sonlove

Stories to tell early 1980

Cathy was my friend.

I was twenty.

Cathy was twenty three.

she worked 

at British Home Stores.

On the counter

where lipstick

and smells jostled.

Colours for the nose.

Candy for the eye.

 

She was pretty.

Very pretty.

 

We’d meet in 

The pub.

“The Cheese”.

We’d drink. 

We’d get stoned.

And go and 

have sex.

We didn’t 

make love.

 

...

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Autobiographydrugslife

68 Grafton St 1977

We took acid

Saw things

We stumbled across 

Hull university

Fields

With reds and yellows

Blues and glowing

Things floating

In our heads

So funny

We laughed

And called and yelled

And danced

And pretended

We were famous

Musicians

 

And we went home

We became a football team

And kicked the ball in

The living room

Where we did

Everythin...

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drugsfriendslost youthStudent lifeAutobiography

Fiery heart

The flames licked eagerly at my heart

How long had we been apart?

It seemed a lifetime now

But truth bends in sad dismay.

 

I try to stare into infinity

But see just tomorrow before me.

Its all too late my psyche states

Its all gone its all to late.

 

My embalmed mind kisses

All that it misses and misses.

Florid in obscurity

Searching for that purity.

 

...

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lossmissingpsyche

Lost love

Losing love is hard on the heart.

Sometimes we feel we’re coming apart.

Feelings of pain

Battle this stain

 

Its so hard to love and lose

Robert Johnson come sing the blues

Its not to separate heart from brain

As we battle scorned disdain.

 

Yet recovery stands and stairs in vain

We carry marks as left by Cain.

Loneliness is a dreadful spot

Seems to be a drea...

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My Son

The cool clear beauty

that is your face to me.

The seeing of you 

that made me feel free.

 

Your calm and kind smile

gentleness by the mile.

The strength of your mind

That made you so kind.

 

Your flyaway words

soaring like birds.

Swooping and gliding

wisdom abiding.

 

Your generosity of spirit

your kindness of soul.

Your limitless friendship

t...

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LossLove

Free the mind

Flaming heads to muddled waters

Put them through to general quarters

The thoughts fly free

Giving truth the lee.

 

Lost minds unravel

As routes less travel

To places long ago

Places free to go.

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🌷(1)

Amsterdam 1982

In late Nineteen eighty two

i was feeling very frail.

And on this occasion

went a bit off the rails.

 

Not really knowing

Who I am

I took myself off

To Amsterdam.

 

There I met a mate

Who was a little bit gone

Always called himself

by the name of Mad John.

 

He set me up there

with a nice little number.

Something to do,

A nice little number.

...

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Reflection refraction.

Punch me a portrait

Kick me a scream

Throw me a lifeline

Pain me a dream

 

Breath me a mouthful

Exhale me a dot

Kill me twice over

Send me to rot

 

Hold my head under

Bleed me from eyes

Chop out my liver

Cover me in lies

 

Walk on beside me

While I feel myself run

Pour me your whiskey

From the mouth of a gun

 

Dig me up twice

Bury me a...

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Kill Them All

Kill them all

Said the man 

who sent

The man with

The vest

 

Kill them all

Said the man

Who ordered

The man

Who drives

The drone

 

Kill them all

Said the Sheik

To the pilot

Who hit

The tower

 

Kill them all

Said the man

To the pilot

Who commands

The B52 overhead

 

Kill them all 

Said the man

Who recruited 

The kids

...

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🌷(1)

pub

Walked from the emptiness

of a grey cold flat

onto grey cold streets

made greyer by the seeping

misery of rain

that isn’t quite rain.

Walked the dank streets of oblivion

to a bar, the bar.

There’s the smiling faces.

Josh like a son

smiles and big brain

Big Mike with

gentlest smile on earth.

Dylan walking his own path

spreading happiness.

Kayde constant ...

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Truths vanish 

As history is written

Smoke wreathes around

Time upon time

The reflections of broken mirrors 

The refractions of shards

Placed to trap dullards

Whose minds travel in a heard.

 

Truths vanish

Upon the alter of greed

Perceived greater need

For those to feed

Whose snouts already bleed

From trammelling in the seeds

Of victims final needs.

...

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A night out in Jack Dempsy's bar New York. 1980.

Oh god. Oh Dear.

A hangover in New York New York.

Small recollections through

hazes of alcohol pulsed pain.

Shaking fingers fumbling 

for coffee and cigarette.

In a dark wood cased  cabin

from sweat stinking bunk.

A million other people

who jerked through the same dance

Night before around the world.

I stepped in time with you.

 

On subways that fled past

...

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🌷(1)

Autobiography

So I Hit Him

Granny

Grateful widow

Granddad

East Yorkshire Regiment

Misogynist with

Drink and fists

Uncle George

Uncle Ernie

Uncle Fred

Coldstream guardsmen

Aunty Frieda hard working mam

Aunty Jenny shop boss

My dad Dave

Uncle Tommy

In the shipyards

Mum a seamstress

Till I appeared 

Ernie war hero

George boxing hero

Fred docking hero

Dad my hero

Gr...

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🌷(1)

biography

They're Only Words.

Without the emotion that drives along our poetry they remain only words.

 

Everyones spitting gritting hitting shitting whimsical pastures of pestilential sepulchritude. 

…Which is about someone spitting a dummy out and putting it back un-wiped in their gob.

 

The masterful mastication of the master masturbators morose onanism is entrenched entrancement

.…watching someone wank. 

...

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🌷(1)

Last Night.

What was tonight?

Whiskey and water.

Beer,

Arguments surreptitiously

Heard.

“My husbands a cunt.

But I stay with him.

He fucked the next door neighbour!

I told that bitch and she left.”

Cigarette passes between lips.

Smoke inhaled.

Scared of the night.

Afraid to leave, 

Afraid to stay.

Lost in a miasma

Of friendship love and fear.

Strangers awash in ...

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Life

The universe is very small now,

As broad as a tightrope.

As short as a thought.

We are tiny

As tiny as 

………….’s

Floating in minds eye.

The world is small

Smaller than a mote.

And we balance on it

Lost but afloat.

Just.

The universe is anything.

The universe is anyone.

It can walk alongside you.

One day its your son or daughter.

Another its stars.

...

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🌷(1)

Your seven.

Walking hand in hand

Your seven.

Wide eyes.

Big world.

Small warm hand

Reaches for and

Buries in my paw.

Mans hand, callouses and oil.

But still fists full of love.

Protection and love.

We kick leaves.

High

Golds and reds.

Asphalt coated

In browns and beauty.

The leaves fly up

Whirl and flow

Swirling

Unplanned patterns.

Stick to our shoes

...

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🌷(2)

lovememorieshappiness

Boulevard (For my son).

The boulevard of broken dreams begins at the end of a snicket, with a shop selling guilt and poverty. Where, mostly men, scratch thin blue lines from short thin blue pens in short hopes of riches. Few walk out with happy visage.
Next an unsmiling heavily built, overly sweaty Armenian take away managers’ tattered emporiam. He exploits youngsters for their honest toil with pennies and always needs ...

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FriendshipLossLove

Unholy

Got no 

self respect

Walking low

like 

An insect

Shadowy motes

Filed in

amygdlia

Shaking 

In the belly

Craving

In the mind

Feel like

Im dying

Wish

I was dead

If I live

Till tomorrow

It’ll be a 

Long time

Lost spark

shouts

Always dark

Want to 

Run

No fun

Bring me 

Life

Lost life

Forgotten

Life

Forever runni...

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🌷(1)

The end.

Wandering ferociously through crowds
Wondering verbally things out loud
Surrounded by the deafening thunder 
People pushing people ripped asunder
Seeing visions in mile long stare
Hiding pain in vain despair
Feeling minutely like a number
Really dumber then the really dumber
Staggering on feet dragging in sand
Eat my mind its awful bland
Tongue is swollen with fat words of hate
Hearing ...

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🌷(2)

Friendship. Loss.

His hands shook

His face contorted 

He fought with 

His stomach

Every morning

Palsy’d whiskey

Into his coffee

At breakfast

Thought no one

Noticed

As his new day 

Was inhaled past

His vomit rotted

Teeth.

 

His breath stunk

His skin was

pallid

He hadn’t washed

His eyes 

Were like

Dark

Stained glass

Portholes 

As he peered 

Ou...

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🌷(1)

For my friend Nicky. GentlemanWildmanComrade.

Memento Mori

Splashing along 
Past the wall
Behind which
The off white
Ageless
Stones stare
Back at 
Wanderers
And seekers
And pilgrims
And guests
Memento Mori

Seeking words
In ancient 
Tomes
From long lost
Homes 
And forgotten
Names
Of every type
And custom
And history
Memento Mori

All the fears
Drawing near
Reduced by
Atheism
Dodging hellfire
Fear of
Not arriving
At final de...

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🌷(1)

We loved you all

Ive seen the smiling beautiful faces of precious youth

Taking fear and horror by its loathsome breath

Who washed themselves clean of its stain

With nothing more then countless courage

And disdainful acts of random kindness.

 

Ive seen the happy gentle porcelain faces of our very best

The ordinary made extraordinary by the casually vile

Who stared into the face of blackened ...

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🌷(4)

ChildhoodCancer. Love.

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