You promised I would hear from you

But your word is sour

I’m afraid to check my phone

After all this waiting

I’m just a mess

And with each passing hour

I am unable to decide

If it’s becoming more likely or less 

That you’ve replied

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I’m not upset about the past

I always knew it wouldn’t last

But never did I think that you’d

Forget of me so fast

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Here’s a little thought--

We drop our guns

We gaze into each other’s cataracts

And see the world in color after all these wasted suns

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My body is the foe

Stretched thin by its own violent thrashing

Exhausted and refusing any rest

As if it were possessed

     My vision blurred by breathlessness and tears

     Was clear enough to glimpse the phantom guest

     Holding my numb hands 

     And whispering melodies into my ringing ears

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Isn't it bizarre?

How we care up close

But not from afar

How we know what we want

But not what we are

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I love the sound of falling rain

Upon my bedroom window pane

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So easy to romanticize the past

But not so easy today

Not when the sun is gone

For good, this time

     And no parting remarks will suffice

Her words like medicine

"I love you"

Perhaps would prove a fatal dose

Or with each syllable heal me thrice

     If she could hold me close

"I'm leaving you and I can't tell you why

For now, I am afraid this is goodbye"

So I ...

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I imagine living in the haze

          Between waking and dreaming--

The soft noise on the telephone

          Just before she speaks

The blank paper beneath the last words of a book

          The snow visible by streetlamps

The world sleeping under the cosmic shroud

          Where starlight leaks

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the

roaring rain

                    outside--

          the distant duckpond

          gloom

the

angry clouds

                    sit low

          inexorable--

          blue.

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Your friends go to the movies and don't invite you

And you've never kissed a girl

Never gone to a party

Or drank beer

And you begin to wonder

Why you lie awake

Awash in hopes and dreams

When you could simply disappear

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We don't walk backwards

Except through time

The future is a hill we climb

blind

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It occurred to me
While drinking one night in October--
Sometimes I am happy
And sometimes I am sober

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I am made of ill desire

As the sun is made of fire

And the flames are getting higher

One day I will burn

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The worlds in a book

Fit in your hand but they are

Bigger than they look

Like vast oceans on a shelf

You'll get lost in them

Or maybe you'll find yourself

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Once I had a frog

Whom I accidentally dropped

And to this very day

I don't know where the hell he hopped

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I met a man once

Who lived out in nowhere

He had two horses and a dog

And a rifle and a tent

But not much else

I asked him,

'Where is your home?'

And he answered,

'Home is wherever the sun goes down'

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In the same way

That falling is not flying

Life is not living--

It is dying

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