justified paranoia
Always on guard of the love you claimed was ours
as I looked up at the stars
I realized I was holding onto too hard
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:39 pm
toxic from the start
A series of self reflection
unhealthy questions
our rose colored phase with twisted lessons and a mutual obsession our souls connected as I throw a cruel test in
how much of me can you take or is this fate I’m lost in a paradise I refuse to break
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:36 pm
Letting go of what’s died
You were never mine
Quick witted but with a weak spine
Your actions are predicted
conditional love that’s bound to die in time
How you act has me sickened and I refuse to loose my mind
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:33 pm
digging your own grave
I hope you’re haunted by the love you lost in the chaos you twisted and turned
I’ll be the dove hanging onto the wire you burned
In the quiet you conjure up all the spirits who will never return
As I hold onto empty words
How you tortured me in this chapter
Cheers to your happy never after
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:29 pm
illusion
I would always seek refuge in you
But you could never love me the way I wanted you to
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:26 pm
self obsessed
You love calling me crazy too
Lying holding your breath you’re turning blue
As I start calling out your other muse
Said I’m the only one that you choose
Feeding me another empty excuse
You swung giving me the ugliest bruise
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:23 pm
i don’t belong to you
No privacy
Stealing pieces that belong to me
When you come home I pretend to sleep
Not feeling at peace a little uneasy
Consumed by the fear of leaving
-Micro possessive it’s the little things that send a big message
Saturday 27th April 2019 3:15 pm
Same feelings
Nervous wreck In self defense
saying you feel the water up to your neck
all the things you can’t forget
washed up memories of what’s left
burning in the fire to resurrect in the flesh anxious cigarette breathe
never mind the burning in my chest
Sunday 7th April 2019 4:06 am
I’m not in love
Lonely heart open ache melting brain
filling my insides with smoke so I forget my name
I only wanted love but I ended up driving myself insane
my life is good I can’t complain except when I look into past mistakes
Stuck in the memories sealing my fate
Growing up i was happy in a tragic way
Fallen behind collecting shame
I fell in love with a different person everyday to ...
Monday 25th February 2019 11:31 pm
Disconnected
Heavy eyes catch the light I’m done with fights
help me synthesize
Shifting lies
Something you can’t see between the lines
Hiding behind my own demise
Constant fear builds inside
Strike my pride
This isnt the love I’ve been waiting for all my life
Tuesday 19th February 2019 7:19 pm
Attention
He said she’s got a thing for musicians and leaving them speechless
don’t smother her with kisses she’ll loose interest and check it off her to do list
She’s ruthless stealing arrows from cupid
Tuesday 19th February 2019 7:16 pm
make it stop
my thoughts havent been clean i apologize for my actions in my heads painted a dark blue color sheme in betweens a little bit of you and a lot of me
Thursday 29th March 2018 2:27 am
again and again they leave
i see you once a week and in my head i have these expectations that you say you cant meet
i thought this was what i wanted but i caught myself feeling cheap wiring out my brain cells so i cant feel the chaos when it leaks
Thursday 29th March 2018 2:23 am
let go of old wounds
everything i owe is to you whats a girl to do
torn between a picture of two look me in the eyes youd never have a clue
the memories are shaky images of blue its been months still the hurt feels new
Wednesday 28th February 2018 1:56 am
no more looking back
cheers to the great escape writing out my history of growing pains challenge myself to a new fate learn how to handle the breakup phase because you traded me in for a shallow face lied about my name to keep yours safe i guess thats how life is when youre sleeping in empty graves
Sunday 11th February 2018 10:05 pm
Dirty secrets
Maybe I’ll just listen to myself sing that might be more depressing even when I think I’m getting a little closer I get ignored pushed a little further I can’t be drawn out under covers the question wonders dirty secrets I know you’d never keep it but still under my disguse I thought youd shelter me out the clear can see I’m hurting a broken piece you never left for good I guess I’m just here for ...
Wednesday 24th January 2018 3:40 am
Maybe I love you
It fills an empty space in my chest I can't congest you made me feel easy no contest
My swollen feet can tell the rest
Friday 22nd December 2017 3:41 pm
Breathe
I hear romance fade slowly like the helium from the heart shaped balloon in your room
Friday 22nd December 2017 3:36 pm
Me too
Tell me all about your distorted moods how society's given you a twisted point of view
Friday 22nd December 2017 3:34 pm
Lost
You're refreshingly crazy
raised by wolves kind of baby
stay up late to shake off the lazy maybe you can save me
Friday 22nd December 2017 3:34 pm
New
We do things how we've always done it but around here that's not gonna cut it
Friday 22nd December 2017 3:33 pm
random feelings from the forgotten corner of my heart
i dont think i can have one glass of wine if i have one, i'd rather have five.
i stood there in shock at what ive become, i grew in releif when i realized i was finally strong enough to change.
i know i'll forever be tainted with grief of why i let you into my brain and infest it with gloom.
when i see you i want to run up to you and give you a hug i want to tell you everything ive experi...
Monday 18th September 2017 3:41 pm
how do i let these stories go
i wish i couldve kept you along the way
it seems i give myself a attitude that has a vivid tounge unable to change
on and on you talk back at me how i need to choose a safer pace
catching a break from some memory following me around your empty grave
Wednesday 23rd August 2017 4:32 pm
reminising what ended up toxic
i miss waking up early in your grandparents house and me driving to the mcdonalds right down the street to get coffee with whatever little amount of money we had at the time then we'd go back to your house and get high
i miss laughing with you i miss all your pets i miss your mother
Wednesday 23rd August 2017 1:14 pm
am i the only one who feels like 2 different people
i walk around hoping to not show the shadow sitting on my shoulders he whispers different emotions and thoughts of fear into my ear.
Saturday 5th August 2017 4:07 am
Addictions
Sometimes I'll just drink coffee for breakfast I'm sorry I picked up a pack of cigarettes sometimes I need the chemicals to shake off the stress or something else craving destruction in my chest
Tuesday 1st August 2017 9:45 pm
Do you love women
You said how much do I have to pay to get you to stay i said don't you know to never treat a girl that way
We may have disagreed in the past with contrastI love you in the wrong light I think we're living the same fight
Tuesday 1st August 2017 9:42 pm
BURNED
i burnt my eyes for you!!! i stared into the sun for hours for you!!! and you wont even take a glance for me?? what is it that hollows out my heart to be filled with smoke and empty friends all i ever wanted was for sour candy to touch my tounge but instead i got a pile of dead worms shoved down my throat! this is what i get for having a kind heart? i never wanted your dark moon love for i thought...
Wednesday 26th July 2017 12:37 am
seeing you for what you are
the silk fills up my lungs as you write a fake love song
i think i like to the thought of you more when your gone
these are the things i keep hidden it feels too raw
how i give out pieces of my heart to be twisted by a fraud
i always knew you'd lie in his presence of the things you saw
you talk of flying solo but hold hands with anyone who hangs thier head low
Thursday 13th July 2017 6:49 pm
i sit alone
no one picks up my calls i guess im alone after all
one big joke given to me as a set of flowers when the petals fall off i realize there's a note with a bomb saying your running out of hours
i think my headaches bring a new shade of disturbance and what i cant face
i think the lights been taken away and i cant put this into a positive phrase
i let myself down and everyone in this town
whats ...
Tuesday 11th July 2017 9:31 pm
my beauty is taken for granted
maybe my love is too heavy for you, but to me its more like art
something you cant understand, because you dont appreciate the absract pieces in my heart
Sunday 2nd July 2017 6:59 pm
careless man
i told you i was fragile and you threw me across the room
then asked me why i shattered and cried past noon
you yelled at me for getting the broken pieces stuck in your chest
said you cant handle someone whos life is such a mess
Monday 19th June 2017 11:56 pm
reflection
I was looking back at your old photos and comparing them to how you breathe today
what a change in someone whos still the same
i wonder how fast the butterflies race in your brain
do they transform the chemistry to something in vain
youve never been one for games all you do is drive yourself insane
Monday 19th June 2017 4:58 pm
changing is painful
i find myself staring away from the sun i dont want to see what your heart has strung now all i have is a scar and a sip of rum
i think we all ache for a sacred place where intruments play and no ones afraid
one thing ill admit im ashamed of the choices ive made everyone wants a round of applause for giving the same amount of blame
leave me alone with feelings that come to shape when ther...
Tuesday 13th June 2017 5:16 pm
insensitive lover
i feel like a liar in my own skin a mutant mixture of feelings locked in a vault hidden away
i dont think human contact is for me i must belong to another dimension
the light comes and goes
everytime i broke my phone you gave me love letters with all the best poems we found together
im a overwhelming lover with guilt melting in my finger tips
tell me why you wanted to love me how yo...
Monday 12th June 2017 9:12 pm
can i dissociate
how many angels do you cast under your wing. how many demons do you hold in disbelief. why does the lightning rise when i dont feel at ease. here is comes the death of commitment and holy trees. how all we have is a society that kills every feeling weve ever seen. all i want is to forget all the nasty men who want a piece.
Monday 12th June 2017 6:07 pm
i want to feel free
sorry im so insecure sorry i cant handle my liquor sorry i choose to make a dramatic change to cancel you out the feelings bitter.
i find myself falling into the days like a mirrored picture all the people walking in my brain manipulate my answers still i find a image of darkness blooming into a light so pure the angels grow eerie.
why do i pick out the rotten fruit to paint colors on my cei...
Thursday 1st June 2017 11:13 pm
emotional quitter
are you numb to the reaction like me, have you bitten off more than you can chew to breathe. do you scream out all your secrets to feel free. can you justify why they leave or are you caught between two wrongs and a right to feel at ease.
Thursday 1st June 2017 3:41 pm
bpd fighter
all the feelings shoot through me at a hundred miles per hour straight to the brain. BOOM. consumed. it feels like someone else takes over for a moment. this person is filled with rage pulls at my hair, wants to slice open my skin and scream to the heavens "why do i even exist let me drop dead". all of these thoughts come to mind. poison poison poison. thats all they are to me. once i come back to...
Monday 15th May 2017 6:15 pm
the devil wont let me rest
the devil has an interesting way of corrupting us. he knows our weaknesses. he knows what we love. he even has hold of our deepest secrets. now tell me how is this possible for god to let us be tempted by such evil. im starting to see its all apart of his plan. how much can we really resist. how much do we really need god. i find the devil greeting me first thing in the morning with a twisted thou...
Friday 12th May 2017 1:44 pm
Sometimes you need to be alone
I've really been pushing the envelope up in smoke and haven't choked told my bestfriend Im gonna kill myself as a bad joke I remember seeing blood on his tounge when he spoke now I understand the heartbreak of letting go
Tuesday 9th May 2017 9:20 pm
why
i can never understand how we are all programmed to be so cruel. why do we focus excessively on the outside while dimming down the beauty on the inside? why do we love to point the finger? why do we love to bring others down to make ourselves feel better? why is money everything? why is it all about who you know? who structured us to be this way? always comparing ourselves to each other instead of...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 4:09 am
alcohol abuse
letting go of alcohol is difficult but id rather be able to live my life without worrying about what bad decisions im going to make next while drunk. thats no way to live. i wish i was one of those people who has control when they drink. how do people drink so much as well as take all these drugs and continue to live. i feel like ill always be someone who doesnt have control when it comes to subst...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 3:51 am
its rare to find people who love pure
do you ever feel so consumed with your own emotions everything spins like your swallowing oceans
when no one wants to give a helping hand but they want you to come party with the band
those times you shared too much then got a run away love making you feel less than enough
Tuesday 9th May 2017 12:13 am
Killing myself for attention
I couldn't wait to see you and get my heart broken overwhelmed by the weight of my own consumption bad decisions made for a perfect moment
Saturday 22nd April 2017 3:48 pm
thankful for crazy friends
i think im a little off and so are you
we cut between rocks and swallow glue
i think of all the illegal things we get to do
behind the alleys walls we can sing our blues
Thursday 20th April 2017 1:02 pm
I'm ok with you leaving this time
broken mind soaking red roses in dark lullabies
I thought we could give it one more try
should've known your hesitation was the cut between a hidden lie
I could've held your heart in a cradle but your unable to stay faithful
even when I cried to be your angel you killed me but came out the hero
Wednesday 15th March 2017 1:53 am
Not alone
I know how your lonely you hide it in your eyes.
I feel tender waves in my blood stream, holding each other while we cry. They don't know empathy like you and I. spilling our guts to the ones who feel a little dead inside.
Monday 6th March 2017 5:14 pm
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