Pop singers need to be told that if a song is lyrically pisspoor you don't make it any better by singing it with extra gusto.

Katy Perry’s 'Firework' song is even more banal than her cretinous 'I kissed a Girl'.

BUT … can the same be said of poets? Who among us has never been tempted to get shouty to compensate for a less than magical poem?

me

I shout "me" sometimes. Sometimes I shout "me.me,me". But then I do work in Aldford, Where No-one Can Hear You 'Me'.

I can feel a crisis looming. It's gonna be World War Me!!

Are you shouting? I'm not. I'm replying.

I don't mind not being heard.

I'll come and work in Aldford. It sounds (mutes) idyllic. Is it where all the trees go to fall down? Is it where you wear your brick on your sleeve?

It's very fuedal. My theory is that the villagers are extra-terrestrials. I've never met you. Moxy, but I don't think you'd like Aldford. Hmmm, maybe I've spelt fuedal wrong. Fuek it.

I once had a feudal poodle, he had a set of military and legal obligations engraved on his name disc -- a name disc the size of a shield. He was a vassal in my fief. I don't mind how you spell your words, I'm a wooly librarian and you're great fun to post comments with.

FYI I called him Vassily and he called me Fifi.

My Favourite song is "Shout to The Top" by the Style Council. I used to dance to it in Pemps gnostic gnightclub in Wigan. I used to sing it too, but it never did me any good.

Six-and-a-half years of PENAL SERVITUDE I've done in Aldford.

What a performance!

What a performer!

It's not a sort of open (in a prison sense) Aldi's?

I done a poem about Aldford. It's called 'Picket Fences of the Soul' but I don't perform it any more. Soon I have to drive back home to New Brighton, past the Satantic Smokestacks of Ellesmere Port, where reality adjustment tuition awaits me in in my local loser boozer, Hell's Waiting Room.

Thank the Lord you are so well adjusted, Moxy.

You've both made me laugh shouting or otherwise.
I'll try to tackle the question seriously :) I think shouting only works with ranty/funnt poetry - and yes it would make it funny even if the poem was weak - cos having the confidence to shout normally means you can carry off a weak poem. People like to laugh and they will be on your side any way.
Now - if your poem was a serious one about your dog dying, your lost love, or an urgent need to slit your own wrists - I doubt shouting it would help much, now matter how good it is.

Hmmm, I find poems about dogs dying quite funny if I'm in the right mood.

In fact shouting a serious poem might make it a funny one - thinking about it. We should all try that as an exercise one day. Take the most serious poem you can find - and bawl it out - it would be so funny if you could do it with a straight face.

Errr, did I say funny. I've been in Aldford so long I've lost my humourous bearings. I meant "comforting".

Okay then - how about poems on cats being kicked?

Are you comforted by the thought of owners being in touch with their emotions or are you comforted by the thought of one less dog?

ODE TO THE PASSING OF VASSILY, MY FEUDAL POODLE

oh Vassily you have vacillated
between bowel movements and death,
walkies and rigor mortis
until now

now you have joined that parrot
although you have yet to stiffen sufficiently
so if I bang you sharply against a pet shop counter
or the kitchen top,
you'll sound hollow

I'm so bleakly disposed at the moment, that if it was summer and a butterfly fluttered by, I would piss on it.

Ha - your poem reminds me of why I couldn't squeeze Elvis into my Iconic poem...it would just have ruined the mood.

I fear we may be offending all the pet lovers on the site. Can I just officially say that I love all animals - I even kept a husband for many years - but he was too house trained....

I often walk my sister's dog and I'm a really nice person.

my verse has that effect; it says so on the label, 'can cause uncontrollable urination on lepidoptera and other holometabolous insects'

That would be a great waste. Far better to catch it - stick a pin in it and put it under a glass case.

Can I just say how much I'm enjoying this..... quietly

Steve
Hate to be a revisionist, but I've only just seen the original question.
Me for another.
Also, I recite them slow when they're shite as this makes them seem a lot more "meaningful" (ie like poetry, like, man).
(I am not alone!)

Isobel - I have two cats and I love them dearly. I find the idea of a poem about kicking them very attractive - I've often held back on punching one of mine when she saves her shitting in the nearest litter tray for when I'm about to eat my tea. I might well write a shouty poem about cat punching now.

Shitting in the nearest litter tray
to me when I’m eating my tea
Will not endear you to me my love
You’re a cat not above being punched

Hmmm...this could work

It sounds like you have yourself a circadian interspecies see-saw here.You eat, your cat voids: you may well be voiding whilst the cat is eating. I'd start keeping an extensive record if I were you and report back your findings as soon as you come to a conclusion.

Queensberry Rules apply and the cat must find a suitable proxy (it must be a person or big game cat) willing to don a catsuit and face you in the ring. Ten rounds. And the punching must be done by means of an inflatable item, challenger to choose.

My god. I never made the connection - you're right! I go to my 'office' when I get home, just after I have fed them!! :0 At least I shut the door. They're too idle to even cover it up. Scraping the lino does NOT suffice.

No way Queensberry rules! Bare knuckle only, kicking biting punching and pinching are all allowed. I was thinking more of a good sucker punch, myself. Here kitty...wanna birra tuna? *SMACK*

Loved your cat punching poem Laura :)

The answer to your dilemma is simple. Move the cat's feeding tray to your office and give it some of its own medicine.

I like John Coopey's idea of reading shite poetry out slowly to make it sound more meaningful - I think there is a lot of truth in that! In fact, I'm sure I've listened to lots of meaningful poetry - it went on for long enough anyway...
They should run workshopss on this at the next Hebden WOL do. Tips on speeding up and slowing down poetry to mask shite. Perhaps Chris Dawson could write an article on it even? The possibilities are endless.

Isolbel? Is Laura to shit in the cat tray to give it some of its own medicine?..Have I missed summat here?

Ha - I have an odd sense of humour Stella.

Laura complained that the cat always had a shit in its litter tray in the kitchen whenever she sits down to have her dinner. I suggested that she removed its feeding tray to the bathroom (her office) - so she can have a shit whilst the cat eats - thereby getting her own back. Hope that makes sense now. It makes sense to me.

I suppose she could practise shouting poetry at the same time - just to further annoy it - though that would mean multi tasking...it might well sound the same as many poets on the performance scene though - I shall have to try it.