There Are No Bad Ships Or Winds, There Are Bad Captains

 

I would promise you the heavens

If it would get you off my back

Thinks the over-inflated spokesman

As he’s questioned by a hack

You can have your masks on Monday

And your gowns this time next week

Although the plane’s still on the runway

Says a whistle-blowing leak

 

We’ll have PPE and tests aplenty

And if we’re lucky we will cadge

Something for all the Care-workers

Like a green enamel badge

This whole thing’s unprecedented

We’re told a thousand times a day

We will get you everything eventually

Except an increase to your pay

 

We’ve invested many squillions

Because our hearts in the right place

But as another medic dies

They cannot look you in the face

And say “sorry it’s our fault”

They would rather switch the tack

And say “we’re sorry you feel that way”

then subtly stab you in the back

 

We’ve got a guy who thinks he’s Churchill

Hiding in his bunker

And everybody’s cheering him

Cos he got one over on Jean-Claud Juncker

So he’s recuperating at Chequers

While the country goes to pot

And he’s probably going to stay there

While this weather’s sunny and hot

 

In the meantime one of his minions

Is wheeled out in front of the Union Jack

With a couple of respected scientists

And their statistical yackety-yack

Then for the umpteenth time

They will tell us that the spread

Is being controlled by the science

Not what some bald advisor said

 

There are no bad ships or wind

It’s the captains who are bad

If you voted for them last time

Do you get the feeling you’ve been had

No one’s saying that it’s easy

But the way we’re being led

It feels like we’ll have it sorted

At the point that we’re all dead

 

 

*title is taken from a Russian proverb