DING DONG!! Avon calling!!

Oh my, i've joined the club!
I'm one of Those women.
All lipstick and no sense.
Sing-song voice and perfect hair.
You know i've been,
my sickly sweet vanilla signature
still lingers in the air,
the cheery yellow calling card sat on the mat
to confirm.

Blimey!! A free sample!
Well, aren't you lucky?
Only the best customers get those.
A puff of cotton drenched in the latest
Eau de Toilet,
sharp enough to bite your eyes.
And what's this?
Half-price soap?
Yeah, provided you spend sixty quid.
Great bargain that is.

Don't worry, i'll deliver on time.
I'll be there, trudging in the rain.
Making sure you get your quid fifty shampoo.
Twelve more of those and i'll earn a quid!
Sorry, what was that?
You don't want it?
It doesn't smell like paradise?
Well, what did you expect?
It's not L'oreal, you know!

Anyway, it'll be sunny soon,
I won't mind so much then.
Might even eat an ice cream
on the way.
I might get lucky,
you might buy more than shampoo
this time.
Sun cream, bronzer, who knows?
Ding Dong! Avon calling!!