Tonight is the night I go dancing
   Down at the local dancehall,
The women in there are entrancing,
   And not too expensive at all.

It's only a tenner a tango
   A samba is only a score,
For fifty you get a fandango...
   And sometimes a little bit more.

The best looking girl is called Timi
   A sweet senorita from Spain,
My god how that woman can shimmy
   And her salsa is simply insane.

Her charlestons are charming and cheeky,
   Her mambos are mighty and mean,
Her foxtrot is funny and freaky
   Her hula is wholly obscene.

Last Wednesday we had our first conga
    It made me feel young and alive,
She says that as soon as I'm stronger
    She's going to teach me to jive.

She's really the sweetest of ladies,
    With only the slightest of faults,
She says that she wants a Mercedes
    Or else there won't be any waltz.

I thought she was trying to be funny,
     But funny's not really her thing,
I think if I had enough money
     She'd even be willing to swing.

Tonight is the night I go dancing,
     It might be the last time I go,
The women are just too entrancing,
     And I don't know how to say no.