Just think of how the advert might have gone
Retired but not yet tired?
Got a few evenings spare?
Must enjoy outdoor activities
Uniform supplied.

Conscientious sleigh driver not afraid of heights
Must be kind to children
Good with animals,
Sense of humour required.

Perks of Job: Secluded accomodation,
World wide travel at the drop of a hat,
Guaranteed to keep you young at heart
And all the mince pies you can eat.

Candidates must sign a non-disclosure agreement
Before attending interview.