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WORKING WITH TOMMY

Did you pack my blue dressing gown Fred?

Yes Tommy.

Are you sure you packed my blue dressing gown Fred?

Quite sure, Tommy. 

 

Tommy checked himself in the mirror, made adjustments.

Fred, I havn't got a blue dressing gown.

      This charade for the sake of us in the band

      invited up for a drink which never happened. 

 

The varicose veins like his act were outstanding.

A distant look of anxiety

gave way to that laugh like the sun

breaking through asthmatic clouds. 

 

Fred was his factotum - driving,

taking rehearsals, organising gigs and props. 

most jokes would end with "thank you" followed by a cymbal crash. 

the cue was confusing as Tommy used it indiscriminately

keeping the drummer on tenterhooks.. 

a perfectionist with certain failings let's say

but on the day

things always went his way. 

 

🌷(5)

◄ CHRISTMAS MOON

NO ESCAPE ►

Comments

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raypool

Fri 1st Jan 2021 16:15

Thanks for looking Stephen, I tried to capture the reality!

Ray

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Stephen Gospage

Tue 29th Dec 2020 15:48

This one has real authenticity, Ray.

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raypool

Tue 29th Dec 2020 12:56

Thanks for the likes Trevor and Julie, and for putting it into words Tony.

Ray

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Tony Hill

Mon 28th Dec 2020 15:36

Really like this one, Ray. Tony

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raypool

Mon 28th Dec 2020 13:34

Yes Greg I did the tweaking as I thought your points were well made as always, and thanks for them. It was tricky dicky to convey the actual experience into a cohesive line or two! Another one for the book one day I hope.

Thanks Graham, I do count that experience as a one worth having. Poets I think need to be observers and on the front line in whatever subject they choose to portray. The musical element in backing comedians was always minimal, often just a song that closed their act and a play on and play off.

Paul, that's a pretty good idea - all histories should be recorded as close to the truth as possible. A unique character could always be awkward on many levels but justifiably loved. Thanks for looking in.

Ray

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Greg Freeman

Mon 28th Dec 2020 08:45

Have you tweaked, Ray? That line in the final stanza reads fine now. Very enjoyable poem.

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 28th Dec 2020 00:30

Whilst I knew you were a musician, I didn’t pre-suppose that this piece was autobiographical in any way. It appears that it is.
A very complex, chaotic and difficult man, like many a comedian, the only one to make me nearly crash my car!
This is an intriguing snapshot Ray of the funniest one ever!

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Greg Freeman

Sun 27th Dec 2020 19:28

Great poem, Ray. Not sure you need that second line, though, and I wasn't quite certain what the third line in the final stanza meant. I'm nitpicking because this poem is so close to it. Will there be other poems about celebs that you brushed shoulders with, if not actually having to brush their shoulders? This is the way to go for you. Cover of you in a tuxedo?

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