I have a psychic parrot

  The Priestess is her name

Her so called premonitions

  Have brought me wealth and fame

The people come to see her

  And for a modest price

She listens to their problems

  And offers them advice.

 

"Beware a tall dark stranger,

   Romance is on its way,

You need to see a doctor,

   Today's your lucky day,

Be careful what you wish for,

   Don't be afraid to try,

You heading for disaster,

  Just spread your wings and fly,"

 

She squawks these out at random

  It's all that she can do

And whether they are relevant

  She doesn't have a clue,

She isn't really psychic

  She's just a bloomin' bird

And as for the predictions

  I taught her every word.

 

Yet people keep on coming

  And keep on being had;

How can they be so stupid?

  How can they be so mad?

Perhaps I'm being nasty

  Exploiting them this way,

But when you meet such innocence

  You have to make it pay.