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Beloved

 

As children they grew up together,

Bonded by friendship so deep

The passage to love was marked

By effortless consummation.

Their love was godly.

Fate  forged shackles with no key.


But  families fractured;

Communities convulsed;

Countries disintegrated.

Upon great tables in small rooms

Politics scissored  flags – land – people -

 And stitched up new nations.


The flags flapped smartly as flags must do.

The sodden land sighed darkly.

The people reacted madly and fought fiercely,

Unsure where bonds of brotherhood drew the line -

If  bonds of brotherhood could draw a line.

The strong bones of  tradition crumbled,

Scuttled into shallow graves,

Prey to the dogs of war and the wolves of commerce.


The people were manic, their hearts unhinged.

In blind aggression they surged against each other,

And counted not who was the foe.

Weapons cracked, bombs exploded, knives flashed,

Flooding steamy pools of blood

In busy markets and hothouse hotels,

Through dancing streets and crowded queues,

In restless bedrooms and tousled cribs -

Everywhere.

Vengeance was the only balm.


And then, one day, as people ran like rats,

With fate’s brutal clarity

Two contorted faces faltered,

Glazed eyes blazing into recognition.

The frantic crowd dissolved to nothing

As the lovers fell upon each other’s breast.

Around them bodies swarmed, and screamed,

And crushed them - in a locked embrace,

Their lips tasting only deathless joy,

Their eyes seeing only the last exultant look

Of the Beloved.

 Cynthia Buell Thomas

◄ Sapphic Stanza

Grandma at the Window ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (8408)

Sun 11th Jul 2010 23:15

Hi Cynthia. Thanks for sharing this poem. I love that the reader knows in the very first stanza that this will not be a happy story ("Fate forged shackles with no key.")and the whole thing reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, where you also know in the first few lines that the story ends in death. You set the scene beautifully all the way through the poem right through 'til the bitter end. Would be interested to read the first version! Look forward to reading more. Dianna.

<Deleted User> (8043)

Sat 10th Jul 2010 08:05

Theres something very 'Borges' about this piece, perhaps its the entwining of something rather large, with something small and personal.

I like your confidence with reusing phrases and words, it fits the rebellious theme of the poem - an aggressive use of language that defines an aggressive poplace.

I have to agree with the other comments in that it's a very oral poem - the use of alliteration helps the words to roll of your tongue in thick globs, almost bloodlike itself.

A very good poem.

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Dave Bradley

Wed 7th Jul 2010 10:25

Hi Cynthia

It was good to meet you at last in Sale. I would agree with Isobel's comments, particularly liking the emphasis on humanity in the midst of chaos and violence.

It worked really well as a performance piece, we were all struck by it, early version or no. Yet at a casual glance I would have put it down as more of a page poem. Not being a poetic technician I can't say why that should be so.

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:18

To me this is a jumbo pack of descriptives too tightly crammed to be be savoured. Dancing streets, restless bedrooms, crowded queues, tousled beds etc. Too much too quickly. it sometimes sounds like a list.

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Isobel

Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:05

Hello Cynthia - an epic it is - that was the feeling I got from it before I read your comment. Your telling of this story is much like an that of an age old tale. It feels more like prose/story than poem to me but that is not a criticism - my latest was a bit like that. Your voice is very passionate and I like that - humanity and love survives amidst all the chaos and horror.

<Deleted User> (8394)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 15:15

I am going to be brave and leave a comment, bearing in mind I don't know the rules of poetry etc, but I am not very good with long poems, bearing this in mind, unless they really flow, but I loved the dancing streets, I loved politics scissored flags, restless bedrooms is brilliant, I love that, I think there are a lot of good ideas, perhaps it should be slightly condensed, somehow, I don't know how, and I don't follow any rules, but am just trying to add a helpful comment, I hope, x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 4th Jul 2010 11:03

Yes, Graham, I did. Chris Co was very encouraging about it, but it just 'fizzled' before. I'm kind of keen to see if any newer WOLers have any comments. It was a marked departure in style, sort of epic in character. (I use the word 'epic' rather loosely!)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 4th Jul 2010 10:35

Sorry I didn't see your comment before I posted!

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 4th Jul 2010 10:34

Have you posted this before Cynthia? Something is certainly reminiscent of this in my head?

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 4th Jul 2010 10:31

When I read this in Sale last week I was appalled to find I had in my hand a 'very early' version. But who would know, except me. I'm done with revising now. War is big on everyone's minds, as always.

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