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Katie is a Barmaid

entry picture

Katie is a barmaid

She has fiery red hair and a love me only mouth

Her smiles warm like summer

Then pass

Like clouds before a rising moon

 

She’s over there

Just over there

I’m over here

Just over here

Drinking in wishes

Swimming in beer

 

She tongues pearly teeth

Hanging like a spinning spider

Upon every boorish indecipherability

Sparkling eyes liquid

 Widen

 

She’s heard all the stories

She’s made all the moves

Smoking in the banality where nothing improves

 

She’s over there

I’m over here

Topping up my sordid dreams

Still drinking beer

She’s heard all the sad songs with only one tune

Foul four lettered clockwork

Tick tock

Tick tock

It will be over soon

 

She’s over there

I’m over here

Bottling up frustration

Drowning in beer

She’s heard the drink talking, articulates each slur

Same again dear?

Life’s just a blur

 

She’s over there

I’m over here

Its bells past eleven

Time for more beer

She’s heard all about the wives at home

Through wide asleep eyes

How there’s no sex or caresses

Lie after lie

 

Katie is a barmaid

She has fiery red hair and a love me only mouth

Her smiles warm like summer

Then pass

Like clouds before a rising moon

 

She’s over there

Just

Over there

 

Over

◄ She Loved Sundays

Men Of A Certain Age ►

Comments

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Gus Jonsson

Thu 8th Jul 2010 17:28

Thank you for your very considered critique Cynthia...The tongues reference is an observation of how when she listens she rubs her tongue over her teeth in an unconcious effort to look both charming and interested...

Once again many thanks!!

Gus xx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 8th Jul 2010 17:10

'Professional kindness' is a strong topic, coupled with 'longing' personified by the 'lone drinker' who is no fool. The repetition is very effective, to emphasize a pattern of behaviour. And the juxtapositioning of 'I' the writer, and 'I' the omniscient narrator. But, I don't get the line about 'tongues'; do you mean: 'she tongues pearly teeth'?

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Gus Jonsson

Wed 7th Jul 2010 12:36

Thank you so much to you all... The subject of barriers and delineation has always fasinated me the rest is years of experience gained by leaning up against bars ....and barmaids for that matter!

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Andy N

Tue 6th Jul 2010 23:01

nice one, gus.. enjoyed this

<Deleted User> (8394)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 18:17

wow, I love this, you get such a strong sense of, a tantalising if only,it's a brilliant picture and the love me only mouth, brilliant.

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Jeff Dawson

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:43

Hi Gus, I've had a few nights like this, I think, I can't really remember! Cheers Jeff

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Francine

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:10

You relate so well life's painful, sometimes desperate longing for love, acceptance and understanding.
This poem speaks volumes...

xxx

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