The Caterpillar Club

 

Plummeting seawards, my up side

Turned down, heels over head,

Tombstoning, like a balloon of lead.

In freefall, all grip slipped, plot lost

I fell from Grace, at pace, tumbling impostor,

Confidence shot, like a plumb line, trying

To straighten myself out, find again my bearings.

Inner imploding, mind exploding,

With ruminations, recriminations,

Shame, tears and on high alert.

Heart in mouth, tongue tied, hair shirt. 

And though I tried to keep my fingers crossed,

The thoughts of what I felt I’d lost

Made me freeze, weak at my knees.

Action stations, hands on deck 

Fight in full flight, fears unchecked.

 

I tugged at the rip cord, slender threads

Of sunlight, spider webs of friends

Could at times hold me, settle my head.

And stretches, bends, set my pulse racing, 

Tasting and testing my outer and my inner strength.

Like trapped tiger endlessly pacing,

My flickering eyes and my exhaled breath

Slowly filled my cradling halo, slowsed my fall

The turbulence fading, I was held aloft

To float and drift, sift my mind

Of chaff and wheat, learn to laugh, to soften

Not flounder or thrash, but feel held, often

One simple golden line kept me trying, 

All will be well, as I fell on, crying, until

My feet hit ground, the mushroom of purest milk

Falls around. I found myself, reborn, saved by silk.

 

M x