Passing the graveyard's mossy stones

Heard some quite appalling moans.

Coffinwood creaked as they stole out

One giving a cadaver such a clout

I wondered if in an earlier life

The pitiful corpse had belonged to the wife?

 

Me with saintly image in silver locket

Coarse salt hidden deep in pocket

Silver crucifix brandished high

So evildoers would pass me by.

A garlic chain around my neck

If others shun me, what the heck?

 

Slinking down the dark church lane

A werewolf appeared, intentions plain

To save myself I naturally lied

'I'm positive for AIDS,'  I cried.

'No problem, so am I', he toothily replied.

 

As shrieking down the path I fled

I woke up warm and safe in bed!