From Mrs Santa Claus,(a second wife), just before Christmas

Dearest,

This icy forest, soaking wet, is not that on which my heart was set.

Fed up cooking for those wretched elves, tell me why they can't fry up themselves?

So many missives requiring risposte, but no reward for the time I've lost.

No glamorous designer gear, just down and boots and furry hats, a Yeti's mate do I appear!

For Heaven's sake splash out on a suit, that dated red costume is hardly cute!

Want to move out to a lively city, not spend my life saying, 'What a pity'.

You're not what you're supposed to be, a saint hand-carving dated toys, all come direct from P.R.C.!

Outsource to Amazon, even with Prime, you can't deliver till the end of time.

A gleaming SUV we must acquire, and rent out the reindeer for tourist hire.

Conceding you a week to choose, if you don't comply, your partner you'll lose.

Ho Ho Ho!

P.S.If to Coca Cola you need explain, tell them the wife will clear off to Spain!