Granny Hi Tech

 

My mum’s been posting selfies… at the age of ninety two!

She’s becoming all tech savvy, whilst I haven’t got a clue.

They say a dog can get too old to teach itself new tricks,

But she’s on Twitter, Instagram, even downloads from Netflix.

It all started back in her 80s, when the tablets which she took

Were traded in one hi-tech day for a brand new i-mac book.

She logged on to her emails, sent me messages so sweet,

Attaching photos from her phone, emojis and a tweet.

She went off to a night class, her notebook clutched in hand,

The nice young man who helped her, made her understand

The joys of new technology, wifi and the rest.

She came back on a Segway, in a dayglo hi vis vest.

She worried she was losing it, but got a memory stick,

And now it’s all on icloud, she can find it really quick.

She opened up a channel on media sharing sites,

And now she’s earning millions, youtube star over night.

She bought a brand new headset, to live life virtually,

The games she plays are tidying up, and making scones for tea.

 She got herself a fitbit, for when she walks downstairs,

Is always going on Fortnite, where she gives the kids a scare.

She splashed out on a botvac, which helps her clean the house,

I’m sure I saw it one day being ridden by a mouse.

She bought a Bluetooth speaker for radio 4 all day,

Then a new Alexa, which would do just what she’d say.

But now she wants to upgrade, even wants a fridge that speaks,

Tells you when to order milk and when your icebox leaks.

She wants to put the heating on, when popping down the shops,

By using all the fancy apps to add to her drop box.

She even went on Tinder to help her light her fires,

The nice young chap who turned up, turned out to be a liar.

Her profile went on Grinder to sharpen up her knives,

Graham was an odd chap, he led some secret lives.

 

But one thing about my mum, which still quite puzzles me,

With all these fancy gadgets, she still can’t work TV.

And finding eject buttons, or play on her hifi,

Is such a massive struggle it really makes her sigh.

The thing I love about my mum is not her hitech brain,

She masters every new device whilst staying just the same,

She doesn’t need her bandwidth to show such love to all,

She always asks how people are, each time they make a call.

The way she lives her real world life can make me feel so proud

She makes such good connection with each one in a crowd.

She’s such a hi tech granny, updated every day,

And we all think she’s magic, so smart in every way!

M xx